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125,009 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
Don't Judge My Writing Kay? I Mean I'll Take Ideas,.. Look I Upload My Stories On Youtube and Youtube Doesn't Let Me Write My Stories Long Enough.. So I Joined This Website ;P
I Had To Do It Here Because My Status Box Isn't Working!>.<
No one is judging! They're critiquing, which is what a lot of YWS is about. If you're just looking for a place to post your story online, this probably isn't the best place.
You may want to look into http://www.figment.com or http://www.wattpad.com. You can share your stories there without getting critiques.
I'll Post Them Where Ever I Want..
Look I Tried Those Website &&' There Confusing Cause I'm A Slow Mexican ;P
Hey there,
I'm musicgirl5001 here giving you a review. Sorry, but I'm not a big fan of One direction, but this story is very interesting. I think you should make the story a bit longer. Also after every quote start a new paragraph, so it won't sound very confusing. There is this one part about the three girls getting into the plane and sleeping. You forgot to put a space between a and deep in that part. There is also this one part in Julissa's POV that says "Well I Miss Princess" I don't really get what that meant. You should also put more information about their past because your readers don't know how these three girls met. Either than that, the story is pretty good.
Peace out,
musicgirl5001
Hello dear! Spark here to review!
First of all, I'm a fellow One Direction Fan. (And avid Larry shipper, I have to admit,) So I must say that I was really excited to see this here. Anyway, to the review.
I'm only doing the first paragraph, because I'm pressed for time, and my corrections in the first paragraph apply to all of them. First of all, to be honest, this is like every other 1D fanfiction I've read. The girls go to a concert, they get brought up on stage, ya-da ya-da. I want to know what makes yours different from everyone else's. What can set yours apart from the crowd. Also, your grammar and format is totally messed up. Fixing it will come with experience, and eventually you'll be able to fix it without blinking, but you're not there yet. So you have to work at it. Look at the corrections I've made in the paragraph above, and try to mimic it in the next one. You've got a weird thing going on where you capitalize some words and don't capitalize others. If you're older than six, you should know that you capabilities names, places, and beginning of sentences. Always go back to the stuff you learned in English. It can help so much.
I'm pressed for time, so I'm going to leave you with this, even though it's not finished.
Hope I helped, and if you have any questions or comments, send me a PM or post on my wall.
xx
Spark