nothing

by iheartbooks

  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

Published January 14, 2011

nothing
i have nothing
nothing to distinguish me
from the rest of the give ups
and retries
i have no sight
thats special to
only me
i have no voice
that anyone
ever listens to
i have no love
who will love me
as much as i love them
if i did
i have no words
that stick out
and make me
feel smart
because i have no brains
nothing to brag about
at least
i have no spirit
im basically
dead inside
and sometimes
i want to
punch a wall
or yell
and scream
and kick
but i wont
ever
because i also
have no
courage
so i sit back
every day
and act like im fine
and nobody cares
nobody knows
except for me
you know that person
who said that
people only build
walls
to see who
cares enough to
break them
down
well
what if nobody
does
?

 

Spoiler! :
Just a quick little note, I know that grammar is very important to people; it is very important to me as well. The thing is, I wanted this to be different. I wanted the lines to sound choppy and everything to be lowercase and no breaks. Just something about it spoke to me as the writer, which I think is important for a piece. So, I hope you understand and don't hate me...
Thank you everyone that has said something, I lvoe it when my work is responded too. One thing though is that I am meaning for it to be the way it is, that means that I am not going to capitalize anything, I know, such a rebel. Not even the "I"s that also means no, uh, what's it called? Punctuation. I put the question mark at the end so that instead of it being a part of a sentance, it's really it's own little word right there, if you know what I mean. And I think without having anything to it except for the words, sometimes it'll come off a little stronger to a reader. Maybe not you, or maybe not anyone even on this website, but I wanted to get away from the ordinary. And you know why?
Because I can! Whoo!
So thank you so much everyone for your suggestions and I'm sorry if my poem messes with anyone's writing OCD, but I'm going to keep this poem this way.
-Leah
Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
JudeHnd
Review
JudeHnd wrote a review Review · Jan 17, 2011

Hi, i think this is very good, it had a lot of emotions and it's really centered, though i do think you need to polish it up.
you can maybe start by begging each sentence with a capital letter and check the grammar.
but generally i think it's great, it really has a lot to offer.
great job

User avatar
iheartbooks
Comment
iheartbooks commented Comment · Jan 17, 2011

Ha ha! Thanks so much guys. Lovethelifeulive, thank for the cyber hug!
*cyber hug back*
And chances are they will become hobos and then I will pass them and laugh =]
Yeah, just a bad day, they happen.
Thanks again,
-hearts

User avatar
lovethelifeulive
Review
lovethelifeulive wrote a review Review · Jan 15, 2011

Hi!
Wow, that was beautiful!
You really showed emotion and creativity in this piece.
I wouldn't change a bit of it, it was amazing, perfect and full of emotion!
I have felt that way before too, and I am really sorry that you feel like that.
*cyber hug*
I understand how people don't take the change to get to know you but you are really a beautiful person on the inside.
We are both very young. And it is good to know that once we get into college, things will be different. The idiotic people who are making you feel this way will hopefully mature. And if they don't, then you'll know that they will become hobos on the streets. Thank you for posting this!
I really enjoyed it!
Please pm me for anything!

User avatar
Eniarrol
Review
Eniarrol wrote a review Review · Jan 15, 2011

This is a great piece full of raw emotion, but I think you would polish it up a bit with the grammar and spelling :)
I think you could put it into stanzas to make it easier on the eye to read your poem. Good Work!



Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna lay down and become a tomato for a while.
— RokitaVivi