The Blazen Chapter #2 (revised)

Spoiler! :
So, this chapter's not so dark as the first. It might be a bit confusing, so please let me know what confused you if it is! Thanks for reading! :D

Chapter 2

The entire apartment building was dark. Nobody was awake at this hour, even in Denver.

“So why is there somebody coming inside, using a flashlight?” Callie wondered, peeking through her window.

Probably another assassin she thought.

They’re like weeds, just popping up at least twice a month. Callie frowned. Let’s hope that this one doesn’t end up dead like the others.Callie turned back to her bedroom and ran to get ready.

* * *

Steven walked up the stairs quietly, almost expertly, avoiding every creak, and keeping a very close eye on the stone in his hand. It was glowing, and grew brighter with every step.

I hate stairs, with a burning passion. He thought angrily.

Suddenly the stone grew dimmer, ever so slightly. Steven stopped, and back-stepped. The stone shone again.

“Fourth floor. Couldn’t they live a little bit lower?” Steven mumbled to himself and walked inside.

Creepy, He thought. The door slid open with ease, as if they were waiting for him.

Steven rolled his eyes and marched right on through into the apartment, and turned off his flashlight. Didn’t want everybody to know exactly where he was.

He headed straight to the bedroom.

Empty.

He stared at the bed in confusion.

“What are you doing?”

Steven whipped around to see a girl. She was wearing her pajamas, with a slight grin on her face, a sword cast on the couch.

“Umm, oh! Is this your apartment? Sorry, I...uh...thought it was someone else’s.” He tried. She didn’t look convinced.

She leaned over and turned on the light. Steven had to blink for a moment before he could see.

He stared in shock. She’s beautiful. He thought, staring at her dumbly; her dark brown hair, her amazingly sharp blue eyes, and the way she stood with such confidence.

Steven shook his head. He had a mission. He had to do his mission.

“What do you want?” She asked again.

“I’m looking for someone.”

“Oh! What a surprise.” She said, sarcastically.

She was perfect.

“Do you know anybody that has a strange mark on them? A birthmark?” He asked.

The girl rolled her eyes and pulled the collar of her shirt down. On her neck sat a black mark, looking almost as if it was drawn there with a sharpie.

“Happy?” She said, releasing her collar. It snapped back, covering her mark.

“Very actually. Do you know what that mark means?”

* * *

Callie stared at the man. Images of her nightmares, her memories, flashing behind her eyes.

“Yes, I know exactly what it means.”

“Really?” The man said, seeming relieved.

“Yes, it means that some insane group of people, ripped me away from my house, tore me open while I was still awake and left this mark behind.” She shouted, completely forgetting the fact that she had neighbors.

The man stared at her in shock. “You mean, you don’t…you…you need to come with me.”

“And why should I?”

“Because that mark isn’t the only thing they gave you.”

“I know.” Callie said looking down with a smile. “They gave me something a lot worse.” She looked back up. “And if you want to live, you should run now, before it loses its patience.”

The man stared at her in confusion, and then resolution. “Listen, my name is Steven Candleson. I’m in a rebellion against the men that did that to you. You need to come with me. I can keep you safe, I can help you learn.” He stopped there, seeming to think better of saying more.

More memories flashed; a man with his face covered, saying over and over “I’ll keep you safe.”

A taste in the back of her tongue, a voice laughing in the back of her mind, and suddenly she felt herself fall.

* * *

“Umm.” Steven stared at the girl. “Are you okay?”

No answer. She just lay there.

“Seriously, if you’re dead, General’s going to-“

Her eyes flashed open. They were different, black, with red pupils. She jumped up with amazing speed, and shoved Steven against the wall, holding the collar of his shirt.

He gasped. She was strong.

“Listen here, idiot. We’re not going anywhere.”

“We?” Steven gasped. He couldn’t breathe.

“Yes, Callie and me.” The creature laughed. “She seems to think that you’re handsome. The fool. You’re nothing but another scientist, come to torture her again.”

“Why…do you care?” Steven really couldn’t breathe now.

“I wouldn’t except I feel it too.” It dropped him. Steven gasped and sputtered for breath. “I’ll let you go. This time.” It smiled evilly. “Goodbye, Steven, until I feel like you’re useless.”

“Why?”

“Because, you’re against the men that stole my soul and gave it to the devil.” She gave a rueful smile.

Suddenly she collapsed again.

Steven regained his breath and checked her pulse. Callie (That is what it called her, right?) was still breathing. He breathed a sigh of relief.

It’d be such a waste if she were dead. She was so pretty.

“Callie? Callie?” He called. She didn’t move.

“CALLIE WAKE UP!” Steven shouted.

She sat up with a cry, her hand flailing out and slapping Steven in the face. He screamed and fell to the ground, clutching his nose.

“Why did you do that?” He cried.

Callie stared at him in shock. “You’re not dead?”

“Oh! Thank you for your concern. It’s much appreciated!” He sat up and looked at his hand to make sure his nose wasn’t bleeding, and rolled his eyes. “You need to come with me.”

“What? Why should I go with you?”

“What do you have to stay for?”

Callie’s eyes widened. He was right. There was absolutely nothing for her. No job, no money, a tiny apartment, not even a family…

“I’ll explain on the way.” Steven said, getting up quickly and walking out the door. Callie sat for a moment, before she ran to get her meager pile of things, and followed Steven.

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cucumber44 Comment

I thought this was really good but you should have developed the character of Callie more. Also remember to use correct punctuation in speech, e.g. “CALLIE WAKE UP!” should be "CALLIE, WAKE UP!"



It is a happiness to wonder; it is a happiness to dream.
— Edgar Allan Poe