Published August 22, 2007
Let me ask you this, my dear:
Would you let me fall
Into the dark and fade away?
Would you care at all?
Would you call out,
Scream, or shout?
Would you even try
To bring back what
You used to love?
I wonder-
Would you cry?
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141,473 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
My first impression of this is I like it but there's room for improvement. There again, when isn't there?
Again, a very simple poem and you should probably add more imagery and extend it because at the moment, it makes the reader think but it's very impersonal. Try to bring the emotions out more so that the reader can feel the hurt and betrayal that the persona does and don't use too many rhetorical questions. One or two can be effective but if every sentence is a question, it loses that effect and the reader loses interest.
Overall, I like the idea and you have a nice structure. With a little work this could be even better though.