Love is a lot like Hate

I really liked this. The tone was perfect and it flowed well. I think that the rhythm is off in places. I hope you'll excuse my experimentation here, it will help me get my thoughts straight...what I'd do is;

"When you took me,
stole everything
I had to give, and more."

Then I'd omit "all" from the second last line.

I think that the last two lines were the most fresh and powerful.

I can nit pick, and point out the cliches, such as "to the end", "everything that I had to give", "forbidden love behind closed doors" and "bend me, break me." For the sake of experimentation, I'd try the poem again without these, to see what happens, but ultimately I'm not altogether sure that they take from the poem as a whole.


Hope this helps!
Jas

That... wasn't what that was supposed to mean... but I'll take it. >_<

You know what I really loved about this? The fact that you used 'we' instead of 'you' know you'll win. And how he's pretty when he's opening your skin is absolutely perfect, because I can see that a lot in some guys, that are even beautiful in a twisted way when they're hurting someone.

Or that could be just me.

Edit: Scratch that. I don't mean that they are really beautiful, but they can still acheive the illusion of it even if they're horrible inside.