Published December 24, 2010
love came as taciturm
as the creep of the
shadow of sunset.
if the sky painted
of devoured desire
with what notion, and intent
can one describe this timeless
beauty?
if poets have drunk so deeply,
and given us words,
words to which one can intoxicate his desire.
if music deeply-rooted in symphony,
serves for his muse,
and if a language based on its subtle sound,
can in its delicate syllabe profess how much you terribly mean to me.
but what of the illiterate?
what of those who do not hold true
of the orthodox of love?
do not stare at him with pain in your eyes,
he loves you like the creep of water to his chest
he is by no means, illiterate in love,
to him simple english is the language of love.
believe when he says he loves you instead of any alternate way, be it music, poem, or dance,
to him the only alternate way would be death by your absence
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141,255 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
This poem is very deep and reaches out to the reader... it just has a few punctuation errors, but besides that it was really good
This poem looks very personalized to you. I don't get most of it because I'm either really stupid, or it's just because I did a night owl turn today and haven't slept at all.
I suggest you remove the periods because they look out of sync.
What is vivid for me is the last paragraph because you compare him to literacy, and i think that is the beauty of this poem itself.
This is very interesting and moves you reader. The only problems with it is that it needs punctuation and capitals. Other than that it is very good.
The beginning is interesting and certainly the ending moves you. I like the line "he loves you like the creep of water to his chest." I have no clue what it means but it has a sort of rythym. Good job and keep up the good work!