z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Ugly Truth About Slippers

by hopep01


For as long as I can remember, I have been terrified of my basement. Something about it just gives me the heebie-jeebies. Most of the time, when I have to go down there, I make sure all of the lights are on, and I leave the door open so that the light from the dining room shines down the stairs as well. But this time, that wasn’t the case.

Mom needed a towel from the laundry downstairs so I was nice and offered to get one for her, unaware of the events that were to come. It was around 8 pm, so the basement was a dark abyss. The lights from the reptiles had all turned off, leaving only one half of the basement lit up. The chipped wooden stairs looked like something you would see in a horror movie. ‘Great, this is where I die,’ I was thinking to myself.

Each step down the stairs creaked, making me cringe. I reached the bottom and realized that it was too late to turn back. Clutching onto my phone in my pants pocket, I quickly headed towards the laundry. The clean clothes smelt nice, kind of like fresh flowers, helping me to forget how scary the basement really was. But then, reality hit me.

The concrete floor was cold on my sockless feet, causing goose bumps on my arms and legs. Usually, this would be the part where I completely chickened out and quickly ran up the stairs where it was safe, but not this time. This time, I kept trekking on. I reached the basket where the towels were put and searched for the specific towel that Mom wanted. A thick, long burgundy towel, the one with the spot of bleach right in the center.

After searching for what felt like hours, I finally found the towel at the bottom of the basket. I yanked it out and turned around to go back upstairs, knocking over a pile of containers. Although I just wanted to get back upstairs, I knew that my parents would be mad if I just left the containers all over the floor, so I had to pick them all up and stack them neatly where someone else couldn’t knock them over.

At this point, Mom was probably wondering what was taking me so long. All I had to do was go to the basement and grab a towel. But this had turned into a whole scary adventure that I definitely did not want to be experiencing.

While re-stacking the containers, it felt like something was watching me. All I could think was, ‘Get me out of here!’ My heart was racing and my hands started to tremble slightly. Putting the last container where it needed to go was relieving. It slowly sank down into another bin creating a smooth sound like a piece of paper sliding across a table. I hurried up the stairs and a feeling of relief hit me as I reached the top and swung open the door.

Although, this feeling was short lived when I closed the door. All I could hear was the noise of something running up the stairs after me. I jumped in fear and landed on the couch, which, from where I was standing, was a far leap, to say the least. When my body hit the smooth leather, tears began flowing from my eyes like raindrops from a cloud during a storm. An intense feeling of fear came over me as I was certain that someone or something was about to open that door.

Mom, knowing me as being overdramatic, got up from her seat to figure out what made the noise. As she got closer to the basement door, my heart beat faster and faster with every step she took. As her hand reached out to grab the knob, I could barely breathe in anticipation for what I thought would come lunging out towards her.

She slowly opened the door and motioned me to follow her. Hesitantly, and very slowly, I got up from the couch, still shaking, and tiptoed towards her. When she got about halfway down the stairs, mom let out a laugh, as she had just been told a really funny joke. I ask her what it is, and she told me to look for myself.

I made my way to the bottom of the stairs, looked down, and saw a single slipper lying there on the floor.

“Was it seriously just a slipper?”

Embarrassment immediately came over me.

“It was, it was Hopey Hope.” Mom laughed while saying this, making my face go beet red.

We walked back upstairs and sat back down. As I expected, mom began to tell my sister and my dad exactly what had happened. My brothers could hear my sister laughing so they came downstairs to see what was going on.

“Is Alayna okay?” Nathan asked.

Alayna kept laughing while Mom tried to explain what happened. I hid my face in embarrassment while she talked.

“I had asked your sister to go downstairs and grab me a towel,” she explained, “and as she ran up the stairs and swung the door closed behind her, she thought she heard something running up after her and jumped from the basement door all of the way to the couch and started bawling her eyes out.”

Aryn chimed in wondering if there was a point to the story that my mom was telling. “Okay, and?”

Mom continued. “I went to the top of the stairs to see if anything was there, and when I looked at the bottom, there was a slipper lying on the floor. Turns out, she knocked a slipper down the stairs and thought that something was running up trying to get her.”

Before I knew it, the entire house was laughing at me and, to this day, my parents make sure to remind me of the night that a single slipper made me bawl my eyes out. But, I guess that’s what happens when I jump to conclusions, (literally).


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
17 Reviews


Points: 1887
Reviews: 17

Donate
Mon Apr 01, 2019 11:48 pm
Flyingsquirrel42 wrote a review...



This is one of the most relatable pieces I've ever read, so great job connecting with people here!

Some things I would change:

‘Great, this is where I die,’ I [thought] to myself.


Clutching onto my phone in my pants pocket, I quickly headed towards the laundry.
I would remove the word "onto" and the s at the end of "towards".

Usually, this would be the part where I completely chickened out and quickly ran up the stairs where it was safe, but not this time.
I suggest you remove the word "quickly" because it's redundant - I can infer from the word "run" that you're moving fast. You could also delete the two words altogether and replace them with "raced" or something similar.

It slowly sank down into another bin[,]creating a smooth sound like a piece of paper sliding across a table.


Although, this feeling was short lived when I closed the door. All I could hear was the noise of something running up the stairs after me.
I would change this to "This feeling was short-lived. When I closed the door, all I could hear was the noise of something running up the stairs after me."

[Terror washed] over me[:] I was certain that someone[,] or something[,] was about to open that door.


Mom, knowing [I could be] overdramatic, got up from her seat to figure out what made the noise. As she [neared] the basement door, my heart beat faster and faster with every step she took. [H]er hand reached out to grab the knob, [and] I could barely breathe in anticipation for what I thought would come lunging out toward her.
(remove the s at the end of towards)

Hesitantly, (remove "and very slowly,") I got up from the couch, still shaking, and tiptoed toward her. When she got about halfway down the stairs, [M]om let out a laugh, [like] she had just been told a [hilarious] joke. I ask[ed] her what it [was], and she told me to look for myself.
Again, remove the s at the end of towards. You could also turn that last sentence into dialogue.

“Was it seriously just a slipper?” [I asked, my cheeks heating up.]


“It was[. I]t was[,] Hopey Hope.” Mom laughed [as she said] this, [and my face reddened even more.]


As I expected, [M]om began to tell my sister and my dad exactly what had happened. My brothers could hear my sister laughing[,] so they came downstairs to see what was going on.


Aryn chimed in[,] wondering if there was a point to the story that my mom was telling. “Okay, and?”


A lot of this is just nitpicky grammar stuff. I really liked this story! I always have trouble writing stories about my own experiences, and you nailed it!




User avatar
95 Reviews


Points: 999
Reviews: 95

Donate
Thu Mar 21, 2019 5:23 pm
Teddybear wrote a review...



Hello, hey, hi, I'm going to review this incredibly relateable piece (so many cringy memories). I'm dropping my usual format because... well, because I feel like it. Anyway, with no further ado, let us get reviewing.

You did a very good job on your descriptions, leaving just enough gaps to allow us, the readers, to use our own imaginations and fill in with our own experiences. It was all very vivid and it took itself just the right amount of serious.

My only complaint really would be that I was not prepared to have my cringy memories jogged today. So, yeah, I'm a little bitter about that, but it was still a great piece, especially considering that you could even GET that kind of reaction out of me and most likely a good portion of your readers, well done.

Overall, you did a great job, well done!




User avatar
7 Reviews


Points: 228
Reviews: 7

Donate
Thu Mar 21, 2019 5:13 pm
Noobwriter88 wrote a review...



I Love how this is like a funny horror, more funny but still. It's pretty amazing, short stories are always cool. I love how it was just a slipper, it makes is so much more funny! I loved the intensity of it, and when she found out it was just a slipper, changed everything! It went from scary to hilarious. Now, I don't know what else to say other than this is a great short story and it made me chuckle, nothing can get better than this. What a wonderful, smart, hilarious short story. So keep up the good work hope! Do what you do always. Love, Joseph, A noob writer. Again, I loved this story,




User avatar
206 Reviews


Points: 8788
Reviews: 206

Donate
Wed Mar 20, 2019 3:45 pm
View Likes
Honora wrote a review...



Hey hope!
This was cute and extremely relatable. The basement is always the scary place and we do tend to get over tensed lol ;) I didn't find anything wrong with this piece which is good. It was well written and the end, "Before I knew it, the entire house was laughing at me and, to this day, my parents make sure to remind me of the night that a single slipper made me bawl my eyes out. But, I guess that’s what happens when I jump to conclusions, (literally)," reminded me of my family. You do anything in my house and they will never let you forget it. That's ok though, I do it right back so I know just how fun it is. Like one time, my sister killed a chicken with her baking. She will never live that one down! (she was only 8 at the time but we tend to leave that out ;))
Anyways, it was good and I look forward to reading/reviewing your future work! :D
Your friend,
Honora




hopep01 says...


Thank you so much! This was a piece that I had actually submitted for a school project last month and I was fairly proud of it! I'm glad that you can relate to my family haha! We really are a crazy bunch and there are tons of things that all of us have done that we will never live down!! This was by far the funniest of my stories though!



Honora says...


:D yeah it%u2019s always fun to tease!




Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
— Homer Simpson