I Blame You

Hi there! Not many comments on this... just a few grammar mistakes:

Moving on is hard to do but I've got to
I wish you knew the pain you caused you broke my heart
And now I'm afraid to love again
Because of you I've broken hearts too

I suggest you change the first one make it like " Moving on is hard, but I've got to" or something like that. In the second one, maybe break it or put a comma between "caused" and "you". The last line the rhyme seems forced. Change it a bit.

How could you do this to me because of you I've hurt the one I love
I wish I could take everything back I wish i never knew you
I wish sorry would work but it never will because he doesn't love me anymore
But i couldnt blame him
I blame you

The first line is confusing. Maybe try " How could you do this to me?" and then brake it.
the second the same. Brake it, or put ; between it. The line doesn't make sense all together.
" I wish "Sorry" would work but it never will" I think it sound better if you brake it here, and maybe change the word "work". "But I couldn't". This is a bit confusing. You said you were afraid of loving someone again, but here you mention that you did love somebody else, but that didn't went well. The readers will ask "Why?" and it's a confusing. Like the ending though.

How could you be like this ? Y ou said you loved me
I thought I loved you too but I really love him
But because of you I got so scared to love, afraid to hurt again
And then i hurt him, I hurt him so bad

So let's see. This is so confusing! Brake the last line, or erase the last part.


The next stanza... I must say I didn't get why you repeated a stanza! You posted this on poetry not on lyrics! It would work if it was the chorus of a song, but in poetry, or in this case it doesn't. Erase it.

Now its over and my hearts in two
And I feel like dying but life won't let me go
I feel so numb inside and it won't go away
Can't someone pull me out of this pain
Someone save me before life let's go

Ok... this was deeper and probably the best stanza on the poem.

Again, the next stanza, erase it.

And the last one, you repeating yourself. We already got that you can't blame him.

I advise you to review this, because you can make it better. And you have to capitalize some I's and but some ' in!

Sorry if it was mean... I usually don't make this kind of reviews... Hope I helped! Keep on writing!