Young Writers Society

Jared here with a review.

I won't bother with nitpicks, because I see you have already amended most of the grammar errors, if not all of them.

Praise and deeper analysis.

First of all, I really think this prologue delivers. It draws the reader in and it does it effectively with few words.

Okay," I begin, "tell me something that burns out fast."

Cassidy smiles; she raises her hand up to place it on my shoulder. "My life, I suppose."

"Please, Louise, you know it's true. I have terminal cancer, meaning there isn't a way for me to survive," Cassidy shoots back.

Budding writer here for a quick review!

"Okay," I begin, "tell me something that burns out fast."

Cassidy smiles; she raises her hand up to place it on my shoulder. "My life, I suppose."
First of all I should just tell you that I absolutely love your opening sentence. To me its like one of the most important elements when writing something and I specially love those stories that begin with dialogues like you'res did!

" She rolls her glossy blue eyes."
Nice description here!

There is only one thing I would like to mention is that I'm not at all concerned about the length of the prologue well cause their meant to be short anyways but the prologue somehow gave more of a feeling of a chapter and somehow it felt that it was meant to be a chapter. And thats why I felt that it kinda ended abruptly.

Do keep writing!

-Budding writer

YOUR AVATAR, OH MY! NUTELLA! A CUTE CREATURE EATING IT. I LOVE IT. AHH.
Right, I like this a lot, so you've earned a like, follow and review from me!
Riiight, onto the story.
I think this is really really good because it has meaning behind it, which is grand, and when Cassidy said "My life, I suppose." I thought it was clever, and well-written and sad BUT IT'S GREAT.
Have you read The Fault in our Stars? Such a great book and this reminded me of it slightly (not sayin' you're copying, just saying that it's good and well-written.) and I really can't wait for more of this to be uploaded!!
I have no more grammar points to point out as Lucrezia pointed out all the ones there.
Great work, I can't wait to read more of your writinggg!
-CFG

Hullo!

I really enjoyed the prologue, and could easily see it leading into a high-quality story (or novel, or wherever you decide to take this!). The technicalities are great, the imagery is real,and most importantly, I already like both of the character . So, great job! I apologize vif this isn't very specific, but it's my first time reviewing a story, so I guess we're are both new to this kinda thing!

Please continue with the story! I have a feeling this one could be a real emotional roller-coaster (in a good way, of course).

Hi! Pen here with a review!
To start things off (and break the ice) Welcome to YWS! I hope you find joy and happiness in the form of our little site. Okay, so maybe I'm a newer member, too. But still! Enjoy the site! I do.
Next, I think this is great. For your first work on here, you did a great job!
I don't really have any nitpicks over grammar, or spelling, so points for that!
I love the use of imagery and the underlying themes used here.
I think that this is completely adorable! I can't wait to read more.
Again, we welcome you!
~Pen

Welcome to YWS! Lucrezia here to review.

This is a really intriguing prologue. Honestly I quite enjoyed it. For the most part, the grammar/punctuation/spelling is all correct---great job on that, by the way---but I did manage to find a couple of teeny, tiny nitpicks.

She rolls her glossy, blue eyes.

"Agreed, 'specially when you light some with you best friend," Cassidy finishes.

"Please, Louise , you know it's true."