The Thought Before the Thought

I came here to write a thought and somehow ended up questioning who had the thought
>_<

hey hey Hira!!! i'm trying to get my third review star today, and I was hoping to review one of your works!

9 lines of poem, but I quite enjoyed it. well, I tend to enjoy most of your works. the less lines, the less reading, the less to review am I right?/j

I feel like this poem sparks a lot of thinking for the reader to do. Since it's not very long it gives space for the reader to imagine many things, and to interpret this in their own way.

I think this was amazing!

~yuuki the dinosoor

Hi Hira.

I like the idea behind this poem. I am fascinated by the self, by performance, identity, and how our bodies and minds are separate and yet one, so I was excited to read this. It's a clear, concise, straightforward poem, and I think it has a good rhythm. However, the main fault here is that you are just explaining this idea rather than enacting it. It's a very familiar, if not overdone, philosophical thought, so grounding it in something more concrete would really help set it apart. Using one specific moment, such as catching yourself mid-gesture or mid-sentence and then overanalysing who made that decision, would carry the argument that the abstractions currently only state to the reader. Like, when you say 'Maybe there are thoughts in us / that begin before we become aware of them' are you thinking about the Freudian idea of our conscious mind and unconscious mind, of the id, ego and superego? That we have repressed states within us? Or are you saying that there is literally another person inside of us, maybe like someone with DID? Or just that perhaps our entire lives and personalities are built up from genetics, our upbringing, parents, where we lived, the money we had access too, and so we are just an amalgamation of things and every decision is made for us because the decisions we make are based on all those factors? I think if you gave your poem something a little more concrete, maybe reading into Freud, Lacan, Kristeva, especially Libet's readiness-potential experiments and Daniel Wegner's The Illusion of Conscious Will, you could really explore these feelings.

Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to go into a huge philosophical ramble. I think it's a great idea and what you have is solid, but it needs that extra something to really stand out! Keep writing <3