Let me describe to you what sadness is without using the word sad
Its like being lost in thought staring off reminiscing on a past moment.
-the moment you and her were dancing in the rain and then were flooded with the pain from the hurricane of destruction that overwhelmed your hearts.
Its like watching the ocean thinking of its contents
-thinking of the way her lips crashed upon another's like tidal waves. The way he made her smile and her cheeks as red as the horizon. And you saw. You watched as they soared away together like pelicans engulfing the happiness in their beaks that once belonged to you.
Its like going through items for the yard sale in the spring.
-then coming across an unmarked box. Opening it and revealing items that carried her scent. Afraid to look more into it you set the box across the room. And distant it. Distance. The word replays over and over. Distant. You close the gap between you and the box because you know the feeling of being left alone all too well. Opening. Revealing. Feeling the memories flood you again. You find her picture in the bottom of this box and you stare. A tear rolls down your cheek and you wipe it away. You take the box and mark it "Tragic Memories" again setting it aside. Seeing as it has gotten more attention than needed. You Move On.
Its like walking down a trail at the local park.
-walking towards nothing to feel something. seeing the leaves blow past you and you move on. Like her. Moving on blowing free in the wind from our everlasting tragedy. I was the tree she was once attached to and then she left in the breeze.. Gone. Pulled away from me by another force. Wind. Pulling you away and making me watch as you left.
Its like picking up a pen and touching it to paper.
-writing the feelings you once had. Letting go of the guilt you once buried. Writing down her name down over and over and over. Like they are the only words you know. Writing down why she loved you for all the wrong reasons. Then folding the paper up and burning it. setting a flame to it like the one that was once set in your heart for her. Watching it turn to ash. Ash. The way you felt when she left. You were easily trampled on and used. Each step taken leaves a footprint scar on your heart showing the pain she put you through. Or you put yourself through by accepting the tragic romance. But to you it was not a tragic romance . It was you and her dancing in the rain as the time stopped momentarily. Then time started again. Exposing the hidden darkness's that stole all of your light away..
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
Hello, hello, gxldencrxwns dropping in for a review.
When I first looked at the poem, I realized two things about it: its length, and the way you formatted it. What I mean by that is normally, poems are written on the left of the writing canvas, and are usually separated by stanzas. The bold and italics are fine - it actually makes it easier to read for me, but it reminds me more of a short story about heartbreak than a poem.
For the actual poem itself, I like the meaning and theme you wrote it with, which was handled well. The last sentence really did describe was sadness really is, since you were describing sadness without really using the word sad. I don't really have else much to say about this, except stellar job!
~gxldencrxwns
Thank you! When I write on a public format I usually change things to separate from the rest to make mine different if that makes any sense. Thank you for the review it motivates me more to continue.
Hello! This is Sumer here to pop in and give you a review.
I honestly cannot change a thing about this.
Though I will say I felt pain, a pain so unbearable it makes my heart hurt just from reading it. Also, I felt remorse, no not remorse for him but remorse for her. It seems to me she lost something she will not get back and something I fear she will never find again, a treasure that is now gone forever. This is also very inspiring because you see it inspires the reader to wonder why get hung up on a girl like that when you could have so much better and write about someone that is so much better for you. And the last thing I will say about this is I love the way you organized it all and the way you're comparing sadness to so many things people otherwise would not have even recognized as sad.
As always I hope to see more of your work here and I cannot wait for another chance to let you break my heart w/ your beautiful work.
Ps. This is one of my shortest reviews yet, simply because it is that good.
-Sumer
Aweee Thank you, I write very often so you will definitely get a chance to read more of my tragic work thank you for the review!!
Hey there !! Ejay here for a quick review.
.
You left me breathless right from the start till the end. Have you ever felt sporadic spasms of wonder, excitement and enthrallment seize you all at once?
I guess that's what you might have felt while writing this piece.
Great Job. Over and Over again.
Keep it up.
If you happen to be looking for a read, do drop by my works .. It's nice to know what the other thinks
Cheers !!
Regards,
Ejay
Thank you so much!! This piece means a lot to me thank you for the review!