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Young Writers Society



Run

by hippyhill


Run, run for your life
Run, don’t stop to scream
No time for fear, no time to be scared
There's just now, and you need to run

He's right behind you now
Chasing you, stalking you slowly
You can’t get away, but you have to try
It doesn’t matter though; he’ll catch up soon

You should’ve been more careful
You shouldn’t have listened at all
To his caring lies and hateful deceit
And now its time for you to pay

You trip, you fall
He comes up from behind
As something small falls from your arms
And loudly begins to cry

He raises his arm
You see what’s in his hand
You try to scream, it just won’t come out
And suddenly you’re bleeding

He runs away, and leaves you there
Lying in a pool of blood
Your arm reaches out to hold the wailing creature
‘At least now he won’t get you’ you say

A frantic phone call, ring 999
To report two murders in Riverdale Park
A young woman covered in wound marks and blood
And a newborn baby, only just born


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Points: 890
Reviews: 3

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Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:14 pm
jpenny wrote a review...



I agree that the last line didn't quite go with the rest of the poem. I also think that the pace wasn't too fast it was perfect for what you were talking about. It's just that it goes at a certain pace and the last line kind of throws it off a bit. But besides that good job. :D




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202 Reviews


Points: 1040
Reviews: 202

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Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:33 pm
Angel17 wrote a review...



And a newborn baby, only just born
and a baby just born would sound better, because by saying its a newborn baby we know its only just born recently. I liked your poem there was a lot of emotion, and the pace was faster when it needed to be, good work.





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