You see it stretched out, it displays itself in front of you
It happens everyday when your stuck inbetween two
Two choices where should you go,
one's pulling you left but your friends go right how are you suppose to know
Who to stand for, what to beleive in, and what you do beleive in is it true?
Or some lies some wise man tried to get passed you
If i could look in a crystal ball
With the hopes it would show me all
And what would happen if i turn the way i do
Is it helping me or something new
Are all decisions meaningless?
Blue or red? That or this?
What if those two decisions are the biggest of your life?
Do you cut watermelon with a pin or a knife?
Simplest of things or really biggest of big
Would these choices change the life i live
If i could look in a crystal ball
With the hopes it would show me all
And what would happen if i turn the way i do
Is it killing me or something new
C is for the constant decisions that scream so loud i can hear
H is for having this burden and blessing for the future isnt clear
O is for only me, i'm looking out for only me...or is it for only you?
I is for ivestigating, what lifes creating from the clouds in the sky to the morning dew
C is for constant decisions that can be so hush i can pick them with my eyes closed
E is for everything that i know
If i could look in a crystal ball
I would leave it in mid air so it would fall
And smash into pieces i would never clean up
LIfe is a mystery and i'll never give that up
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Hey Rockstar!
This poem seems less like lyric poetry and more like lyrics since you have a repeated section over again. Just so you know! If you want me to move it, just send me a PM (although it's been here for more than a month, so I can understand your not wanting to move it).
Anyway, for the most part, they were decent lyrics! However, my eyebrows raised when you started doing the "C is for..." part. It seemed really hokey to me... like some sort of lame cheer-leading thing. Not bad, of course, but out of place and really weird. With the music, of course, it probably sounds fine. It just looks a little odd.
Hope that helps!
I agree with the person above about changing around the structure of the stanzas so they flow nicer. Also, I love the vertical stanza at the end. It was an interesting stylistic twist to your poem.
*stars*
besides fixing those few things up, good work and keep writing.
empress
To start off, I really like this work. Some things would probably make it flow better, though:
First of all, spell check. it's a really small thing, but it does help people not have to pause while reading and go 'oh, wait.'
also, though i don't write poetry, the line breaks don't really seem so smooth to me, though as you go on the lines breaks do flow better. for example, i would have made the line breaks in your first verse like this: (i also changed some of the spelling.
You see it stretched out,
it displays itself in front of you
It happens every day when you are stuck
in between two choices
where should you go?
one's pulling you left
but your friends go right
how are you suppose to know who to stand for?
What to believe in?
Or even that what you do believe in is true?
Or are they just
lies some wise man tried to get past you?
idk, like i said, i'm definitely not a poet, so if you don't like my changes, then completely ignore them. i hope i helped some!
PS.: if you're bored and want to read something, check out my story, fire on water!