quiet
i can almost hear
the sound of leaves falling
or is it tears
a rustle in the woods
or was it just a shifting thought
a memory fluttering off its shelf
to dance once again before my eyes
has the rain begun to fall once more
is that a figure against the trees
or is it simply the clash of hopes against reality
creating me, a monster
i want to leave this place
this forest of illusion
only memory roams here
and melancholy is king
save me from these free-range fears
which run wild here
attacking me at will
until all that's left of me
is the silence that stretches between the once meaningful
phrases in our conversations
quiet
quiet
i could almost hear
hope
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi!
To start what you've written is beautiful! I enjoyed your poem. I really liked your word choice and comparisons throughout the work.
I especially liked this line. It has a very nice rhythm. The whole poem flows well. There are a few capitalization errors and grammatical errors (the uncapitalized "i"s and possible need for punctuation.)but these might be intentional. Other than that it is wonderful!
Good work, keep writing!!
-LW
That was awesome!! Pulse I love and I mean love the title. Hi my name is @BlueBlaze and I am here to review your work
so the start was pretty good, kind of strong. The part in the beginning when it sees "I can almost hear the leaves falling or is it tears" after falling there should be a comma, and when it sees or is it tears, there should be a ? Um but ya and it's pretty good though, I enjoin reading it from beginning to the end. Keep on writing and just have a great day 