Young Writers Society

1. miniscule molecule

did the wolf lay it's wool coat over your eyes?

or are you so ignorant to not notice your downfall?

(you say that you do not care for me, so i said the same thing.)

if you paint yourself as the hero i guess i'll be the villain

(you want me to be mean? then i'll be vile for you, but know it is not by choice it is by obligation.)

i am not hero nor villain in my story - only an onlooker

(and i left my feelings of endearment to subside as you said to-

so i am not at fault for the domino effect that befell you.)

i am not my actions nor am i my words

(stop pretending i am the catalyst and start realizing the err of your ways)

& you say that i mean nothing but we are both made of atoms

(i guess the difference is that i am a supernova and you are an atomic bomb.)

so farewell to what you said to him as i walk away with the truth

(you'll try to stop me but i am a tempest made to be a tornado)

& goodbye to the hatred you held in silent stares across the table

(i used to be a young boy till the reality of the world around me made me grow up.)

i thought that it'd hurt more to relieve this pain but i think that it's a euphoria i lost

(and it's depressing to know that in the end it won't be my story to tell.)

2. the sea, the stars, the subconcious

i've said that i saw what someone had stole

(my subconcious should've knew i said something untrue)

& i know i've sang the same stupid song for some time now

(i missed the signs & submitted to your subliminal messages)

you slink inside my soul like secrets inside sealed ears

(i wish i could block myself out of my mind but i'd see myself sobbing if i did so.)

somehow i knew something like this would happen

(somewhere you'll be laughing at me, i just know it.)

& i swore i said solemn somethings but maybe i've since lost my sympathy

(somewhat silly, no? i know at least i am my own saboteur.)

& i'm sure you'll sing about the actions the ensue my silence

(but who are we kidding? the summers of childhood innocence is long gone.)

3. playing hide & seek & giving me your weekends (& trying to change the ending)

i knew i'd curse you for the longest time about things you never said

(leave me alone in my delusion of the world i crafted by blood & tears)

& i've seen how it ended so why am i trying to undo my scars?

i know how it ends, i know how we end, i know how you end.

(death is inevitable, it comes for dynasties, and it comes for this peace of mind.)

running into your arms & crashing into flower beds & barefoot wading in still water

(i miss it like i miss the lakes and the ocean and being able to see the stars)

& childhood memories that i lost & childlike love that i missed in my broken heart

(if we are romeo and juliet then we will end eventually, and i don't think i like that finale.)

4. until i love once more

until i love once more i think i'll stay this stoic

because i don't want my heart broken

and i don't want to go through what my mind warned me of

(this kind of inevitability is something i dread)

until i love once more please leave my heart broken

because i think that i contradict my moral code

yet i still toy with my heart strings

(and you would never care about what i love because i am heartless)

until i love once more i'll be here rotting at the grave of our love

because i never got over you and you were my everything

if i am a star then you are a galaxy (unfathomable to me)

so until then i think i'll stay here with my thoughts

(& until i live once more i'll hang on to you with everything i have

which is not that much considering i gave you everything i could.)

5. where am i now where am i now where am i now (i'm lost i'm lost i'm lost)

where am i now & how did i get here (do i deserve it? any of it? at all?)

& how do i escape? how do i leave? how do i forget?

(i hate it here, i hate it here, i hate it here, but all i've ever known is here)

and i'm screaming again but you don't hear me, do you? do you? do you?

(am i repeating myself or is this my echo i'm hearing? if it's my echo i don't trust it-

i never have never do never will because it lied to me and what i stood for)

but if i pause i don't think it fixes anything i've done, still lost in my deluge of grief

(where was i then, where am i now, where will i be then when i'm lost? i'm lost. i've lost.)

is this the end? is this the part of my story where i finally get my happily ever after?

(i don't think so, but let me live in my fabricated reality just a little longer.)