See how tender grief flows
weaving incandescently, shaped
like shallow hurt and sharp tastes:
animal wire film, black and white.
And the wind, tearing color
patterned time
which left grief in the pale dawn
spiralling out towards me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Hello! Tigerlilly here for a review!
I love how descriptive this poem is! Its very figurative and the words were used beautifully.
One thing that irritates me, though, is the capitalization. I personally prefer for each line to be started with a capitalized letter, though you seem to have been skipping around with your capitalization in this.
Other than this one concern, its an excellent piece! My favorite part is where you say:
And the wind, tearing color
I could really see this! Good work and keep writing!
-love
-awesome
-poetic
-favourite.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.
Cassaundra with a review,
I just wanted to mention how much this poem speaks to readers out there. It's so well written, and the words are continually flowing together.
I would like to comment a little but on this though.
Positives-
It had a great flow of words.
The description was great.
Negatives-
There were some grammar mistakes.
Overall this was a great poem and I hope to see more of them published soon. Please keep writing and continue what you are doing. You are great at it, don't ever give up on yourself.
Thanks for pointing that out. It's something I really need to work on. And thanks for the review. I really appreciate it.
'Ello! SecreteJournalist here for a quick review on your lovely little poem c:
Nitpicks:
Considering you've broken apart the rest of the poem with punctuation, I'd like to mention that this first line would be better improved if you paused before continuing (hence, adding a comma).
These two lines confused me. Go into a little more detail on how the tastes are sharp and why it is shaped like that. And would you care to explain the second line of the quote to me? I can't seem to comprehend it.
This, in my opinion, should just be cut out. It would much improve the poem's flow in my opinion.
Again with punctuation, I'd add a comma.
'spiralling' is spelled spiraling (so just simply get rid of an extra 'l').
Praise:
I do love how this poem has left me to think. For such a small poem, it's very vivid and I like that a lot. My favorite line(s) has to be:
The imagery here shows the pain and grief of the narrator, and it's like I can feel it. Great job!
I hope this review helped a little!
Sincerely,
SecreteJournalist
AKA
Brie
Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to review my work, and I'll work on things like grammar and spelling. Again, thanks.
Hello, I'm here to review your poem
By using free verse, you have made the poem more of a personal read and you focus more on your wording than any rhyming schemes 
No spelling errors, no grammar mistakes, we're good to go.
This is a beautifully worded poem! I love how you have used phrases like weaving incandescently
See how tender grief flows
This really contained the hook for me. The way the words float off your tongue makes it a better experience. I like how you have used the word tender to describe grief as, some do not realise, it is a very soft emotion. I can picture the grief flowing through tears with this description
animal wire film, black and white.
And the wind, tearing color
I like how you have used colour here to create an effect. By contrasting black and white to colour, you make the poem a better experience to picture!
spiralling out towards me.
This was an amazing finish. The reader can picture a wave of grief spiralling towards them as you have set their imagination ticking throughout the poem. My favourite part of this line is how you have used me. By suddenly making the poem personal to you the reader starts to debate what could be happening. It makes the emotion of the poem a lot more effective for the reader. Introducing yourself at the last line was a very interesting idea, well done!
This was a fun review to do, please, please, please write more like this and let me know so I can pop in a review for you
That's all from me,
Godly
Oh my God, thank you so much for reviewing my work. I'm really glad you liked it, and I am really looking forward to posting more work! Thank you!
no problem