Beef Noodles

Oh my god. I love this.

You perfectly illustrate the depression that can lead to other issues, like eating disorders, in this case. And you do it with ramen.

I really like how you go through the process of making ramen. The little details like the 500mL cup bring me into the world of the narrator.

That being said, I feel like the world of the narrator could be fleshed out even more. I like that the narrator is confined to their bedroom, and the details about the manga and the youtube videos. However, I really want a few more clues about the narrator. Perhaps describe the room a little? I can imagine bowls stacked high, dirty with the remains of past meals, and perhaps warm clothes. The narrator needs a cushion from the outside world, and we see that in the noodles themselves, but I want more.

Of course, it is your choice whether you want to add more or not. For me, the poem's length is quite wonderful, but if you chose to slip little details in about the narrator's surroundings, that might add a bit more spice to your beef noodles.

I hope this review proves useful to you! Happy poeting!

Hi!
I liked this poem. It was very descriptive and the imagery was subtle but well-thought out. I liked how you incorporated both the hunger and feel of the noodles with a deeper meaning of emotions and people.
My only criticism is that you might want to split up the poem into stanzas. The ideas don't easily flow in one large stanza. Splitting up ensures that the ideas are connected, but not combined into one confusing mesh.
Other than that it's great! I enjoyed the italicizing. It brought attention to that one main idea, which flowed throughout the rest of the poem. It draws the reader's attention, but it not too distracting, like if it was in bold.

Hope I helped!

Hi it is siya here. I generally liked this poem. But if i were tou i woul make the main concept of the poem clearer. I liked the way you have described the beef noodles in the start of the poem. The name of the poem attracted my attention and made me want to read it. I also would like to say that i totally agree with you in some things like when you wrote ( in my own words) that it is so much more fun sitting in you bedroom( preferabley alone) sitting in your bed( maybe curled up in a blanket) and eat the pure and yummy food. As good as the poem is it has some flaws. It does not have a clear meassage ( as i said before). I also feel that th topic of the poem completely changed from the start to the end unless i didn't understan your poem in which case i wouuld be glad if you would tell me why you did that. I would also like it if you could summarise the poem in three to four line for me. I hope you keep up thos good work and i also hoppe this helps you. If by any possible chance someone likes this review please like it and follow me.