FADE
fade
fade
and so they
are slow no more, are still no more
But now those windy winds
O so white! O so blue!
O so twinkling! O so shining!
and so they stare at stars and skies
no more leaves, no more boughs
seed - sapling - tree - taller tree and now
when all along those slow, still winds, those slow, still winds
all along those roots, roots and more roots
and though they yearn to reach the stars, rivers but
and then together forests make (yes green leaves, yes black boughs)
Day or Night, Light or Shade, all such things can pick their stage
and swing and sway in slow, still winds
till FREE to stand and make one own
GROW more
GROw things
GRow that
Grow grow straight up than down
grow
of Things that grow straight up than down
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hiya,
This is certainly avant-garde as I have not seen many poems that make shapes with their words, but it makes it hard to read because I can't tell what order to read it in. Reading it from bottom to top is just as confusing as reading it from top to bottom, as there are awkward spots. I mainly got tripped up on this part:
This part seemed to be the cut between confusion and understanding. Below this section is harder to read, while above that section is easier. For example, that hanging part. Is there a point to it?
Sorry if I seem harsh, but overall, the order is hard to read. If it was written in the normal poem format, then it would be better, but that's just my opinion. Others may think differently, but for me, that's what I believe.
Hello there,
I must say that the formatting makes this very hard to scan through and make a decent review for, but I shall carry on with no fear.
I love me some avant-garde poetry, or really anything. I see that this is very new and quirky, but make sure to remember that writing anything individual can gain some negative opinions from other people.
Some areas are clean when others are very messy, ex.
That is not great if you wanted to be professional with avant-garde poetry, but maybe that's what makes it special. It's certainly cool to look at.
Also, capitalizing middle of line is a trait common in amateur writers, so if that is not your style, I'd suggest a change.
Have a good day,
Haley.
Hi Ashwin Dilip,
Loved your poem!
I noticed that your way of writing is a little different from others. Well Nice.
A nice concept of writing !
At first you started with FADE ANd you ended with Grow...reguarding to the tree ...
right??
I have never read such a unique poem!!
OH YESS! i noticed now,,that the writing that is the words and sentences are altogether making a tree!
Wonderful!
Good,that you have written about a tree but just for advice I would like to say you could have made your poem a little longer otherwise its alright!
keep writing!
From Sulagna