Entered Chatroom: Help Community
Online: Aryan
PATHAK_AANYA: Hey There. Look like we r the only ones in here.
ARYAN: Hello. So it seems. So, are you someone looking FOR help or looking TO help.
PATHAK_AANYA: Unfortunately, looking FOR help.
ARYAN: Allow me then. Tell me, what happened.
PATHAK_AANYA: Where 2 begin? My whole life is a mess!
ARYAN: Okay. Tell me what’s bothering you right now.
PATHAK_AANYA: Okay. Wat wud u do if some1 u really cared abt , someone who’s been a very important part of ur life, suddenly starts 2 act as if u don’t exist. No. Sorry. As if u NEVER existed.
ARYAN: I’ll answer your question, but first you have to answer mine.
PATHAK_AANYA: Fine. Fire away.
ARYAN: What is the opposite of Love?
PATHAK_AANYA: That’s easy. Hate.
ARYAN: No. Hate is just Love gone bad.
PATHAK_AANYA: I see. But then wat is the opposite of Love?
ARYAN: The opposite of Love is Apathy.
PATHAK_AANYA: Apathy? How?
ARYAN: Just think of it. What is Love? Love is when you feel for someone. Love is when your feelings for someone define everything you think and do. Love is when you live when they live, when you laugh when they laugh. Love is when your world isn’t just your world anymore. It’s his and your world together.
ARYAN: And now think what Apathy is.
PATHAK_AANYA: I see wat u mean now.
ARYAN: Good. Because that is the answer to your question. Just start believing that he doesn’t matter. Try ‘Indifference’.
PATHAK_AANYA: But how can I? He was my best friend.
ARYAN: ‘Was’. See you’re already changing. Put him in the past and let him remain in the past. I know it’s hard to do that. But it’s something you have to do. And when you do, you’ll be relaxed.
PATHAK_AANYA: I’ll do that for sure.
ARYAN: I’m guessing this guy is not your ‘whole life messed up’?
PATHAK_AANYA: He isn’t.
ARYAN: So, tell me what is?
PATHAK_AANYA: There was a guy.
ARYAN: I see. He left you?
PATHAK_AANYA: No. I left him. Kind of.
ARYAN: Kind of?
PATHAK_AANYA: I had cancer. The doctors said there was very little left to b done. I didn't want 2 leave him alone n sad after I was gone. He would’ve been devastated. So I made him hate me.
ARYAN: Hate you?
PATHAK_AANYA: I pushed him away. Pretended I didn't need him in my life. Eventually he started thinking wat I wanted him to think – that I no longer loved him or wanted him with me.
ARYAN: So he left?
PATHAK_AANYA: Yes.
ARYAN: You still love him, don’t you?
PATHAK_AANYA: Yes. He’s with someone else. She’s perfect for him. He’s happy. So I’m happy.
ARYAN: You let him go so he would be happy after you were gone. But you didn’t go anywhere. Now you’re still here and he’s not with you. That’s the problem, isn’t it?
PATHAK_AANYA: Yeah. Now I’m all miserable n I don’t know wat to do. Sometimes I feel like I should go n tell him. But then I think wat gives me the right to?
ARYAN: Do you think he’s truly happy now?
PATHAK_AANYA: Yes, he is. He laughs, he smiles. He barely did that in the last few months around me. They both practically glow around each other.
ARYAN: Then I think, don’t tell him.
PATHAK_AANYA: What do I do then? I love him.
ARYAN: That’s why you should let him go. Let him live his life. You, on the other hand, will fall out of love with him. And you’ll love again. And this time, your love will stay.
PATHAK_AANYA: I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been dealing with this feeling of emptiness inside me for so long.
ARYAN: How long ago did all of this happen.
PATHAK_AANYA: About a year n a half ago. I was in 11th when the cancer was detected. Now I’m in 12th. The dreaded boards r just a month away.
ARYAN: In one month’s time you’ll be sitting for the most important exams of your life. After that, it’ll be the competitive. By the time July comes, you’ll have a new life to look forward to. It’s February now. March, April, May and June. Just 4 more months and you’ll be away from all of this. New life, new people, new experiences, new adventures and new surroundings.
PATHAK_AANYA: Until then?
ARYAN: Until then. You focus on your studies. You think of what the future holds. You think of how perfect your life will be after 4 months. Until then, set up your table with one pile of books on one side and a pile of movies with a big bowl of pop corn on one side. When you feel you’ve studied enough and can’t do it anymore, pop in a movie and see your favourite parts. Relax for an hour and get back to work. What else do you do when you feel bored?
PATHAK_AANYA: I read. My favourite book is ‘Anybody Out There’ by Marian Keyes.
ARYAN: Well, then read too. Read that book. Make a list of books you want to read and read them in your breaks.
PATHAK_AANYA: N wat abt when I feel upset n want to talk to someone?
ARYAN: Speak to your mum. Or come online. Somebody’s always online on the chatroom.
PATHAK_AANYA: Thank u so much.
ARYAN: That’s okay. This is what this chatroom is for.
PATHAK_AANYA: Do u come online much?
ARYAN: No I don’t. Actually I never use the same Id more than once. I make a new one every time I come on. Speak to someone, help out and then delete the ID.
PATHAK_AANYA: Wat does that mean?
ARYAN: That means nothing about me is real. My name is not Aryan. That is not my picture. I’ll be gone when I logout.
PATHAK_AANYA: Oh.
ARYAN: I’m just a shadow. Remember what I said. You need to love yourself and accept what happens to you. That’s the key to being happy. And you can do it. I know you can.
PATHAK_AANYA: Thank u Aryan, or whoever u r. I've been going 2 a therapist for almost a year n he has never explained this 2 me so well.
ARYAN: I’m glad I could help. I’ll be going then. Be happy and be strong.
PATHAK_AANYA: I will.
ARYAN has logged out
Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. It's very rough. And I know the editing sucks. If you have the time, then please take another moment to drop a line and help me improve it. All help is deeply appreciated.
Harshita :)
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
I'm definitely reading ahead!
I "liked" it. And I want to see more of this!
Hey guys! I've posted Chapter 1! The link is given right under.
Chatroom Encounters: Chapter 1
Harshita
hey, Harshita, took me a while to spell your name correctly. i really think this was a beautiful piece of work.
For a prologue, perfect. You should try going back to check grammatical errors sometime later. I don't expect this to be a cliche internet love story, so do something different, and surprise us all. I really want to see where this is heading, it has a very beautiful starting that I'm sure would hold it till the end. This ARYAN character reminds me of me, or what i seek to be.
i wish you best of luck.
Please keep writing!
LOVE,
<BEE>
Thank you so much for the review. And this will definitely not be a cliche internet story. And I totally understand the problem with my name.
Harshita
Hi there! This is a really interesting piece and a very clever prologue. I'm interested to see where you take this. As a prologue it really works, because you get to give the reader a lot of background info without it feeling like a total info dump. That can be a tricky balance, but I think you've managed it really well. The format of this works so well because it's easy to read - which means the reader geys drawn in pretty quickly.
I only noticed two typos an here, but otherwise the editing was fine. Given the style, I don't think that typos are necessarily a bad thing, not compared to in normal prose. If the character is typing, it is likely they'll make typos, and then maybe post straight after with the correct spelling following and asterisk. I'd just add a few more 'typos' in to make it look intentional, but not so many that it becomes distracting. As Buggiedude said, you can create good voices by doing this, and having them use netspeak sometimes, or emoticons and smilies, for example.
If I have any other suggestions, I'd recommend putting the parts that mention them logging in or out in bold or italics, just so they stand out a bit more.
Don't doubt the quality of your writing, because while editing never hurts, this piece is already of a great quality. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for the review! I've put the parts you mentioned in italics. I've added the netspeak too. If you have anything at all to add, please go ahead. I'd love to improve it.
Harshita
I almost feel like this could be a story all by itself, but it's just a prologue! I really want to see where you take this.
Anyways, since this is just chatroom stuff, I guess there isn't much detail needed. The only advice I really have is that it would be cool to see the characters have different typing patterns. Maybe one of them is more prone to certain letter mix-ups and typos, or one of them is more likely to use abbreviations and common texting language.
Other than that, I don't have much to say. I look forward to seeing the next part!
Thank you for the review. I added as much text language as I could. I stick to proper English myself so I pretty much suck with it. If there's anything more you can suggest, please feel free. I'd love the help..
Harshita
I'm willing to bet that most of the people on YWS don't use text language all that often-including me! But I think you did a good job anyway. (Certainly better than I could)
If you have the time, could you read the Chapter 1. I've put it up a few hours ago. It must be in the green room. I'd owe you if you would..
Thanks a ton!
Harshita
That was soooooooooooooo nice ahrshita.........C'mon now make it a novel...........it wud be disasterous