Monsters.

Hey harrington, as a new member here I'm going to attempt to write an review, congrats you're my first one so tell me if I've reviewed sense or nonsense.

I get the instinct that the basis of your poem centers around the psychological sense of having your mind inhibited yet accompanied by a, monster, which I found interesting.

I know grammar is optional in poetry but I find it slightly off putting when every line is beginning with a capital letter despite continuing in the same line as the one previously.

Anyways.


"He is terrified of the loneliness

You both crave."

Here, I may be misunderstood, but i don't understand why the person and the monster would be craving loneliness. Wouldn't having a monster inflict a person to crave company as a sense of security? Perhaps interpreting this in another view could be that the monster and the victim are craving loneliness as they have experienced beyond what they can handle by the outside world. That is just my take on it.

"But do not give him food

For he will devour everything you have

And then more."

I certainly liked this final section of your poem, it has effectiveness and holds a new philosophical intake on the whole concept.

Hope this review made more sense than nonsense. Well done.

-Weather

"Do not discard your monster
He is not unlike you;"

Let me just say, what a start. Such a powerful thump to start out with, bravo.

One thing I don't like is that a lot of the lines that start with and. It just tends to weaken any poem. I know that they aren't the start of sentances because you use enjambment here, but looking down the margin and seeing "and" repeated is not the best. I would suggest rearranging so a different word ends up on the line, maybe even taking out the ands and replacing them with commas, for example this bit...
"Give him a place to sleep

And a body to hold"
could very easily be...
"give him a place to sleep

a body to hold"
or even...

"give him a place to sleep,

a body to hold"

Except for the and in the last line, that one is very powerful and is pretty much the only one where it can't be replaced.

These few lines...
"And comes out at night

When the world is silent enough

To hear him."

THe second one is kind of a mouthful, and there's that and. Perhaps something like
"to come out at night

to a world silent enough

to hear him"

Okay, sorry for being so nitpicky, I'm not trying to force my ideas upon you, but I know sometimes seeing what someone else might do can give ideas for something entirely different and totally great. Really, I still think that this is utterly beautiful. Very poignant and unique, very well stated, and besides that one line, with a very fluid feeling. Great job!

Hello hopeless here to give you a review.

So I would like to start off by saying this is really good, I like that it's not too long and not too short. But I would like to say that it might look better with punctuation, but I could be wrong. I mean not all poems need to have punctuation I just think it looks better. But over all your grammar and spelling are good and the hole thing is cute and great. It's far better than what I could write so bravo to you!

Keep writing and stay beautiful!!

~hopeless