They start out small,
cherished for their size and history,
it's the smallest they ever were
as they continue to grow
Looking into their once young, twinkling eyes
bring back the memories
of their wide, toothless smile,
their innocent laughter,
their hair occasionally pulled out of place
and their gentleness that resonates within
them forever, along with the tiny handprints
that mark the heart for eternity
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Canary word: Present
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129,978 Literary Works • 671,511 Reviews
Hello there! Luata here for a review. Unlike xJupiter, I have never reviewed any of your work before, so I figure that I had better give you a fair warning, I don't really do grammar, I try to focus more on the emotion of the piece, but sometimes, you know, my emotional feel for things might not be so hot sometimes, so take or leave any advice given throughout this review.
The word gummy kind of puts a kink in things I think. I do believe that you are referring to babies, right? And if so, I can understand where "gummy" is coming from, but I don't know, is that really a word? It just sounds kind of . . . gross. Maybe toothless or something would sound just a tad better.Other than that, I really like this piece. Of course being only fourteen, I am not sure what parenthood is like, BUT I do know my grandmother used to have us make playdough hand prints all the time and she still has them all in some cabinent somewhere. Handprints are a special thing when it comes to parents I think.
Very good, I see this is your only poem, right? Can't wait to see what new poetry sprouts out onto your computer!
-Luata
Thank you so much for the review I appreciate it. I'll be honest, I had a hard time choosing the correct word I wanted to use at the time I wrote this and I don't know why toothless didn't cross my mind! I'll be sure to edit that. And I'm not a parent either but I have many nieces and nephews and I also worked with kids through programs held at school and church. That's sweet your grandmother kept your hand prints
I also have 1 other poem and a personal narrative but they're in my portfolio and not in the green room.
Again, thank you so much!
I.
Am.
Batman.
Hello happiestwr1t1ing23. I'm here to review your work once again. c:
I thought this poem was actually very awesome! It had a good subject, not common, and it was very sweet. Handprints are very much cherished because it shows the growth of our children. What a perfect subject, though. I've never heard of someone on here who has written a poem about how wonderful children are. You did great, and I have no nitpicks. Except for one minor spelling error when you wrote "marks" which should've been "mark." Otherwise, I loved it. Keep writing.
May your travels through space and time be merry,
-xJ ❤︎