Published April 15, 2009
Her expression betrayed her, heartbreak obvious in her eyes.
Her pain was locked behind the empty shell of what was left of her heart.
Once a lullaby so beautiful, her heartbeat now staggers a damaged tempo.
Slow, dragging, broken.
The sting of betrayal sunk its sharp teeth into her innocent, virgin, flesh.
Sharp daggers penetrated her back leaving her paralyzed, unmoving, emotionless.
As the trail of days left her, she learned to hide in the confinement of the dark forgiving shadows.
Her mind became a rusted frame. Slow, dragging, broken.
She attempted vain suicide, teetered so close to the edge she almost died.
Her ivory skin became stained by the crimson rivers she bled,
Practically drowning in the tears her icy blue eyes shed.
She took her last breath and slid the razor over her wrist, slowly.
In her final moments the seconds and minutes bid her goodbye, they ticked along, dragging.
She laid her head on the cold, hard tile realizing exactly what she was…..broken.
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139,447 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Hello!!
Okay, I must say this poem Is absolutely beautiful!!! I really enjoyed reading this lovely poem!! I have nothing bad to say about this poem (surprisingly). You had great imagery and detail, and you used good wording. I felt like I knew EXACTLY what the person was feeling. You seem to have a great talent, so put It to use, and write more darling!!
*GREAT work, keep it up!!
~*Hailey,<3
Hey Hales!
Heart wrenching and sad, but of course wonderful!
A beautiful piece, only one line kina bothered me...
I don't know why but the 'almost died' kinda bothers me. I would try to find a diffrent way to say this, but it's not terrible and it works.
Amazing work, as always!
Luv ya girl!
~ Cara
Hey there! I read this beautiful poem and only one " nit-pick"(lol first time using that word) stuck out to me.
I think maybe the first "was" could be left out of this line, and it would flow better. Like in the first line
You didn't put a was after the word heartbreak and it totally flowed.
Other than that little thing, I absolutely loved the poem. Your words were so descriptive and you used metaphors!
"As the trail of days left her, she learned to hide in the confinement of the dark forgiving shadows."
"Her mind became a rusted frame."
and personification!
The sting of betrayal sunk its sharp teeth into her innocent, virgin, flesh.- very nice
The poem really described a heart break, but to me the cutting thing is so used, I don't want to say cliche, but almost.
Looking forward for your next work! in fact, going to see if you have any more now!