It Would've Been Nice to Say I Knew You

I loved this!

Your poem had great rhythm and I could follow it easily and understnad what you were trying to say the whole way through it!

I'm probably just repeating what everyone else has said but I have to say it all over because I really did love your poem!

I'm really not good when it comes to grammar but as I read your poem I couldn't make out any clear grammar mistakes which is a great plus.

I especially loved the way you closed the poem. The last line fitted extremely well with the rest of the poem so that helped with the flow of it. The flow of your poem was also, obviously, amazing! It helped me read it with ease.

To be honest it feelt like I was actually living through the poem, if that makes sense! , and I love it when a poem or a story has that effect on me!

Everything seems to work so naturaly as well which in my opinion is the most important thing when writing a poem. Your rhythm, the flow, the atmosphere of the poem. Everything just seemed so perfect!

Overall I adored your poem. It was dramatic, effective and extremely well written. I love your writing style and I can't wait to read some more of your work!

Keep writing!

Meg x-x

Phorcys:
sorry you didn't like it
no, i really do write poetry, but i just did this one really quick. this one is about a relationship, but i just didn't feel like making it clear, because, i didn't feel like being clear
anyways, thanks for the commentary!

indigo and kelly:
thanks so much. this is one of my lamer poems, and it wasn't supposed to make sense to anyone else but me, hehe

and yeah, this poem is just all over the place.
its organic

i just felt like posting it to see what people thought :]

but, for your benefit....

theres ink in my veins
(my passion as a writer)
and my heart doesn't know
that my mind's full of thoughts
since a long time ago
(i've been thinking about my past a lot lately)
my keyboard is bloddy
(its supposed to be a metaphor for how i put my heart and soul into writing things [or at least i try my best to])
my brain is curdling slowly
thinking of what we are
(and because i'm thinking of the past, i'm thinking of the one i used to love so much)
my words are soft and simple
(what i say is very subtle)
and mixed with mediocre scenes
(and tied in with my dumb actions)
my sentences are phenomenal
(what i say is great)
but no one knows what they mean
(but no one really understands them)

theres ink in my blood

and my heart doesnt know

my minds full of thoughts
## "minds" should be "mind"
since a long time ago

my keyboard is bloody

my fingers are scarred

my brain is curdling slowly
## "Curdling"? Not sure about the verb. The above three lines are nonsensical.

thinking of what we are

my words are soft and simple

and mixed with mediocre scenes

my sentences are phenomenal

but no one knows what they mean

##No, I don't. The poem's lack of point sums up my dislike of it. You sat down and thought "I want to write a poem", didn't you? Nothing wrong with that if you are interested in the poem's theme, feeling, emotion. Try to write about something you are passionate about - whether you love it or hate it. Some ideas: Relationships, friendships, politics, science, religion, view of society, an object, a place...

I liked it Didn't quite understand it but I didn't have to to appreciate it Only one thing to say, at the start of the poem the sentances are shorter than towards the end, and I found myself trying to squeeze the syllables into fitting in with the tempo set at the start. I don't know maybe you did this deliberately, I'm just saying =D
But I really liked it! Well Done!

Kelly
x x x

Wow!
That's...amazing.
I'm not pretending to completely understand what it means, but I loved it.
There's something about the words that's just...wow.
I think the length adds to it because it surrounds it in some mystery, with a lot of imagination needed from the reader, which I like.