Published August 10, 2009
The monarchs fly just like at home
Surrounded by people yet never so alone
If there was a best place to go,
This would be it
Just fall into a thousand shades of blue
Just one star
A lonely point in the ebony
Curtain hanging overhead
The light sees its own reflection
Then hides behind the clouds
Because
The monarchs fly just like at home
Surrounded by people yet never so alone
If there was a best place to go,
This would be it
Just fall into a thousand shades of blue
There’s so much beauty and so much pain
Everyone seems to like this game
Curl up in the corner to avoid it all
Keep safe behind empty walls
Try and shut out the light
Because
The monarchs fly just like at home
Surrounded by people yet never so alone
If there was a best place to go,
This would be it
Just fall into a thousand shades of blue
Hold tight to motivation
Before it goes slipping-sliding away
Throw coins into wishing wells and
Hope for the best
To try and change the inevitable
Because
The monarchs fly just like at home
Surrounded by people yet never so alone
If there was a best place to go,
This would be it
Just fall into a thousand shades of blue
Even Superman isn’t invincible
Your kryptonite is the pain
And the only thing that can
Pierce hardened muscles is
The silver shine of a knife
Break loose from the cycle
Before all sanity goes crawling away
Drop the smoke and bottles
To seek cleansing in the
Cool, stormy waters
Because
The monarchs fly just like at home
Surrounded by people yet never so alone
If there was a best place to go,
This would be it
Just fall
Just like at home (just fall)
(just fall ) (just fall) (just fall)
Into a thousand shades of blue
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141,378 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
I don't know much about writing songs, but I do rather like your imagery. I like songs that put pictures in my head. I also agree--
is a great line.I also enjoy the hope in your song, like in this verse:
I especially like the "change the inevitable." It's like saying nothing's impossible, but in a more original way.
Sorry I haven't been much help--I'm a little rusty with this reviewing thing. I really did like it, though! Have a great day!
--Anna
:O At the bottom of the page and no reviews! Hawkie must fix.
First of all, I don't understand your theme very well. Is this a love song, a breakup song, a song about life? I know you're trying to use symbolism, and symbolism is wonderful, but it has to be clear what's being symbolized, especially in a song.
Also, I think this song is too long. You have, what, five verses? You're also lacking a bridge, which makes it seem repetitive.
I really like this line. It paints a vivid image and has a lot of feeling behind it.
"Ebony" and "curtain" should be on one line, or else the lyric feels broken.
You seem to be telling your listener that it's not worth getting out there and living. If that's your point, then fine, but it's a rather odd message.
This feels rough-edged to me. It doesn't flow well with the other stanzas - maybe the lines are too short.
I think you have some good groundwork here; however, it definitely needs some polishing. The best part of the song is the refrain. I can hear the music in my head!
Good job and keep writing.
-Hawks-