Mad- Chapter 1

“All a good man needs by his side is a splendiferous hat and a scrumptious drink of tea.”

Alastair Homburg has lived by these words all of his life, and according to everyone he knew, it wasn’t particularly bad advice. Hours spent making rare tea flavors and finding the perfect flowers for his hats had landed him a wonderful job that paid handsomely and a manor just beside the Queen’s gates. It was a beautiful life, filled with important people and expensive attire. But sometimes, Alastair wished he was home. Wherever home was. He didn’t quite remember.

Alastair snapped out of his thoughts as a woman barged into his studio with a scowl on her face. Her chin was held high, her corset too tight to look natural, and a set of guards behind her with jack patterns placed on their paper-thin chests. Alastair refrained a shudder; this woman would probably kill him the second he didn’t agree with her.

“Alas!” the woman said, shuffling over to Alastair and placing two soft kisses on his cheeks. Too close for comfort, he decided.

“The Queen of Hearts!” Alastair said, plastering on a fake smile. He bowed on one knee before the Queen placed a hand on his shoulder and urged him up.

“Please, Alas, there’s no need for formality. I’ve been to this Hat Shoppery at least a dozen times.”

“Which I am very grateful for,” Alastair replied, nodding slowly. The Queen was too… Normal today. Usually, she either pestered him for a hat design that would take months to make or a hug he would have to gently ignore. Both options made his skin crawl.

“I am in great need of something today,” the Queen said, sighing dramatically and waving her fan over her face. “Something so exquisite and delectable it makes my eyes water when I hold it.”

“That sounds like quite the hat,” Alastair chuckled. He walked towards some of his mannequins in the back, who wore his largest hats. They were covered in elephant-crow feathers as black as night, and made with the fur of Cheshire lions, a glimmering violet and teal. “These are our finest hats, but since they‘re quite expensive, I’ve decided to put them at a discount. Do any of these catch your eye?”

The Queen took dainty steps towards the hats and placed a gloved hand on a pink hand. Alastair grinned.

“A lovely choice! This hat is made from flamingo chick’s downy. It’s very comfortable.”

“Hmm.” The Queen’s hand fell to her side and she let out another dramatic sigh. Alastair suppressed an eye roll.

“You know, Alastair,” the Queen murmured, turning her gaze away from the hats and towards the walls. “I wasn’t really looking for a hat.”

“Oh!” Alastair’s specialty was hats, but he had managed to sew a few suits himself. All of the Wonderlandian shops didn’t have the elegant patterns he preferred. Everything they made was too colorful and gaudy for his taste. “Well, Queen Cordelia, I have tried my hand at making suits, but a gown seems quite daunting. I know a lovely dressmaker down the street that-”

“I’m not looking for attire, Alastair.”

Alastair could see where this was going. And he hated it.

“There is a ball coming in two weeks. Two weeks before the tenth anniversary of my coronation.”

“I’m aware, Queen Cordelia. I congratulate you on such a spectacular rein.”

“Thank you. But to be honest, Alas…” she took a breath, placing a hand on Alastair’s shoulder. He clenched his hands into fists. “I’m quite worried.”

“What for, my Queen? You’ve conquered over half of the Chessaclair lands. It’s only a matter of time before you take parts of The Twistwood as well.”

“Ha!” the Queen laughed. “You think too much. I was simply worried about not having a partner for the ball.”

Alastair’s cheeks turned fiery red. He refused to think that Her Majesty might do something as atrocious as…

“You see, it is my tenth anniversary of rule. By that age, my mother had declared who would become her King. How many heirs she should have. And I simply…Have delayed such things.” She took a breath and looked up at Alastair. His face must have been bright pink.

“You know, there are plenty of fine Chessish men you captured while taking their land. Surely one of them has fallen for you?”

“I don’t want them,” she whispered. “I want an exemplary man. Alastair Homburg, I want you.”

Alastair took a slight step back. This isn’t what he wanted. The Queen was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but he had a wife. A wife who was eccentric and bloodthirsty. The Queen would kill him eventually if he said yes, and immediately if he said no. But he would rather die than betray his love.

The hatter let out a shakey breath and looked into the Queen’s deep, crimson eyes.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to decline your offer,” he whispered. “I have a wife, and she will have her baby any day now. What man would I be to break my promises of marriage.”

“An honorable one,” The Queen growled. “But I suppose that’s not something you want to be.”

The Queen rubbed her temples, her red face beginning to show through her powdery-white makeup. The hairs on her skin stood up straight as she turned away. The silence was terrifying and infuriating. Why didn’t she just have one of the cards kill him already?

The Queen stood facing her guards for a few moments before plastering on a beautiful smile.

“This will be easier if you don’t run. I don’t want to involve the cards.”

Alastair let out a shaky breath and pressed himself against the wall as The Queen leaned closer to him with a dead face. This would be quick, he hoped. The Queen didn’t have a chance to make a performance out of his killing in his own home.

“Gosh, Alas. I’m not going to kill you.” She felt his sweaty forehead and whipped it off with a groan of disgust. “Calm yourself.”

“Then what will you do to me?” he croaked. The Queen smiled.

“Simple. If you will not fall in love with me, I will keep you in my prison until you do.”

That logic didn’t sound quite right to Alastair. “Continue,” he said slowly.

“Hmm, alright. If I am the only lovely lady you see in the prison every day that isn’t a blasted card or someone rotting to death, you will begin to starve for my touch. And then you will fall in love with me.”

Alastair clenched his teeth.

“And if not?”

The Queen leaned so close their lips brushed. He could see her smile.

“You will give me your firstborn son if you fail to provide. And he will stay in The Palace of Hearts all his life so that he will fall for me too.” She started to cackle, spit spraying on Alastair’s face.

“It will be lovely having two dashing men chase after me.”

“I will never chase you, Queen Cordelia.”

The guards took his arms and dragged him away, Cordelia casting him a final glance.

“Careful. Your words might land you more than a lifetime in prison.”