A Bibidi Bobidi Bamboozle

Halfway through the drive to Finley’s favorite Italian restaurant, she decided to chicken out and head to her friend’s house instead.

That was where Finley found herself now, hugging a flower shaped pillow on her friend’s bed as she tried not to have a heart attack.

“Seriously, Fin,” Audrey sighed, a grumble hinting in her tone, “you have to stop being so gullible.”

“I just… I really thought…” She sighed, rolling over Audrey’s bed so she no longer had to face her. “It had glitter on it! Plus, I turned 18 last month. I can do what I want now.”

“Sure, sure.” Finley could practically feel her friend’s eye roll. “I just don’t really think it’s safe.”

“And I was hoping for some late night Italian. I could kill for Shrimp Alfredo right now.”

Finley looked up, staring at her friend’s ceiling. It was a lighter shade of pink than the rest of her room. Most of her walls were covered in pop music posters or her own, still-life paintings- also hinted with pink.

“Seriously, Finely, who refers to another person as ‘land-dweller’?” Finley sat up to find Audrey squinting at the sparkly note in her hands. It was mostly crumpled up from being in Finley’s pocket, and the glitter was shedding onto Audrey’s quilt.

“Aren’t you the least bit curious?” Finley said after a moment. “What if this person really can end my suffering?”

“Last time I checked, Fin, you had a loving family, a cute house, and you live near the beach, for goodness sake-”

“Are those things supposed to automatically make me happy?!” Finley snapped. She pointed a finger at Audrey, who blinked at her in shock. “Everyone suffers a little in their life, you know. Mom expects me to get a job, to move on with my life and have this whole future planned out, and-”

“You’re stuck.” Audrey’s face relaxed as she listened. She reached over to put a hand on Finley’s. “We all are.”

“You already have a full-ride to Wilson’s, Audrey. Without a job, I can’t afford college.” Finley bit her lip. She didn’t mean to sound so bitter. So jealous. Audrey’s family were deeply ingrained with the community- her father was the superintendent of the school district, and her mother was a supervisor at the largest boardwalk at Cypress Cove. Finley’s family had moved here just two years ago, and- Finley shook her head. She didn’t want to finish such a thought.

“Tell you what…” Audrey began, tapping a finger on her knee. “My parents are out for date night right now. Why don’t we have a little girl’s night out?” She smirked. “Pick the place.”

“Spuntino di Mezzanotte?”

“Perfect!” Audrey pulled up her phone. “We’ll just have to waste four hours before we leave.”

Finley smiled. Her best friend was a fairly cynical person, but that didn’t stop her from Finley’s many crazy ideas.

They both stood up, heading to Audrey’s closet to find an old card game to play as they waited. Maybe they would dress up to scare the crazy person who’d left that note. Until then, Finley had nothing left to do but enjoy the good company she had.

***

“The pigeon has landed,” Audrey whispered. “I repeat, the pigeon has landed.”

Audrey and Finley wore matching trench-coats they had found in her dad’s closet, as well as two of Audrey’s favorite pair of sunglasses. They had decided that if they were heading to the Italian restaurant to meet a mysterious, non-human creature, that should at least attempt to look intimidating. The only problem with their flawless plan was that Audrey and Finley looked more like shivering noodles than cops or spies.

“Should we wait for another person to show up?” Finley whispered from her side of the car.

During tourist season, the Spuntino di Mezzanotte had a lively outdoor seating area, complete with a small jazz band and a cheese tasting table as guests wandered from table to table, rarely finishing their delicious meals. Tonight, though, the parking lot was empty, apart from the cars of the staff and Audrey, and seagulls squawked in an eery sort of way by the rocky, trash infested beach. Finley was starting to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t have come.

“It’s safer inside than outside,” Audrey murmured back. “Let’s just go ahead and order. I’m sure whoever it is will show up by the time we’ve eaten.

The girls shed their coats as the scampered across the parking lot, into the well-landscaped entrance of Spuntino di Mezzanotte.

“Good evening,” a hostess said as she greeted them in the velvety lobby. “Would you like indoor or outdoor seati-”

“Indoor,” Audrey and Finley snapped quickly. The hostess blinked at them for a moment until grabbing a pair of menus and heading to a booth in the back.

Finley sat down, furrowing her brows at Audrey.

“What?” Audrey said, taking off her coat. Finley still didn’t say anything. “I repeat, what?”

“Audrey, if I die-”

“I shouldn’t have asked.” Audrey shook her head. “If you’re in danger, just scream

fire’. I’ll come running.”

“The ‘you running’ part is what I’m scared about.”

“You have no faith in me.” Audrey shut off the conversation by flipping the menu open, going down the ‘antipasto’ section.

A waiter appeared with their cutlery and gave a warm smile.

“How may I help you ladies today?” He had a thick Italian accent, and his face had freckles from the sun aging him. He didn’t look scary at all.

Maybe tonight would be okay.

“We’ll take the oysters to start off-” Finley made a face at her, and Audrey sighed. “Actually, can you do the fried raviolis?”

The waiter mumbled a yes as he scribbled on his notebook. He forgot to ask for drinks before running back to the kitchen. Ten minutes later, the raviolis had arrived.

Finley sighed happily as she took a bite of fried cheese deliciousness. It was crispy, it was melty-

A sharp stomach pain hit her side. She nearly fell forward.

“You okay?” Audrey said between bites of food. A large grumble came from Finley’s stomach, and she blushed. She stood up, holding her middle tenderly.

“I’ll be right back.”

Finley ran to the bathroom, ignoring the thick smell of grapes and roses in the air. She also ignored the soft steps of feet on the ground as she closed the bathroom stall. She kept ignoring everything until-

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

Finley froze as she flushed the toilet.

“You humans always think I’m trying to kidnap or sell you something.” The voice was gurgly, as if a frog had gotten stuck in the person’s throat, along with a bit of sand. “It’s true I like to make bargains- but not for worthless cash.”

Finley looked beneath the gap of the stall door. On the floor was a pair of wrinkly green feet- mainly barefoot, except for ribbons and bows made out of seaweed on the creature’s ankles.

“Come out, child,” the creatures said after a moment. “I won’t hurt you.”

Finley’s breath hitched; she felt as if she couldn’t refuse. She found herself undoing the latch, creeping out of the door, and gazing at the creature before her.

The creature was, in fact, a woman. Despite her wrinkly green feet, her face was a beautiful and smooth shade of mint. Her eyes were dark, with long eyelashes, like a deer’s, and her curly blonde hair rested rip above her knees. Her dress was made of woven seaweed, pearls, and seashells- and her ears were so long and pointed, they dipped toward her neck. Her face wasn’t quite friendly or rude- it was a gentle scowl, grown from years of disappointment, etching itself into her face. She was lovely, in a terrifying way.

“I understand, little land-dweller. You’re speechless at my unearthly beauty.” She performed a dramatic bow, lowering her chin all the way to her toes. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and smirked. “You may speak when you’re ready.”

“Hermit?” Finley said after a moment.

“The one and only.” She eyed Finley up and down before clicking her tongue. “My, the look of a peasant has changed quite a bit these days.”

“I’m not-”

“I at least thought they would wear nicer clothes.”

“That isn’t the point.” Finley found herself glaring at the woman. “Your little note said you would end my suffering. How will you do that?”

“So impatient. Didn’t your parents teach you that good things take time?”

Finley would eyeroll if she wasn’t so nervous. Instead, she took a quivering breath as Hermit poked her face and felt the sleeve of her shirt. Finley felt astonishingly uncomfortable; she felt as if she were a mannequin in a boutique.

“You are a very trim creature,” she murmured after a while. “Perhaps I can change you into something magnificient.” Hermit smiled. “Tell me, girl, what is your favorite color?”

“Teal..?” Finley was unsure of the color herself, but she loved all shades of blue.

Hermit nodded. Her dress had no pockets, but she managed to pull out a narrow, swirling seashell, about the length of Finley’s arm. She took a step back, landing on the tips of her toes, and began to swirl the wand around. A cloud of shimmering white mist covered Finley’s eyes, than her arms, and eventually, she was completely encased in the strange substance. All sound was blocked out, and she felt terrified as her bones froze in place, cold and numb.

Her vision of current events dissipated as it was replaced by lovely memories; playing with her mother in the snow. Painting animals in elementary school with her fingers. Eating a burger the size of her head while her father and mother laughed at her.

The memories stopped. Everything faded to white.

Finley gasped as she finally stepped out of the white mist. Hermit stood there, hands on her hips as she looked Finley up and down. Her old tie-die shirt and denim shorts were replaced with a glittering turquoise gown, draped and folded like the fabric on old statues. The bodice was perfectly fitted. It was backless, showing off a pattern of silver and pearl beading on her shoulders. Her tie-die were replaced with silver kitten heals that included pearls on the straps. With trembling fingers, she lifted her hands to find dozens of rings on them.

“Ah, don’t you look so much better now?” Hermit smiled. “A bit less depressing, wouldn’t you agree?” She plucked a bit of Finley’s hair, which had turned from light brown to bright white.

“You made me old?!” Finley put a hand to her chest, stumbling in her heels. She barely ever wore them.

“No, you fish-brained idiot. I made you gorgeous.” Hermit rolled her eyes before grabbing her shoulders and spinning her out of the bathroom. “I sent that little friend of yours away.”

“Why-”

“There is a very important meeting I needed to set you up on. Just the three of us.” As Finley was being pushed towards the door, she craned her neck to find Hermit grinning, a warm violet blush finding her cheeks. “We all need to look our best.”

With that, Finley was shoved out of the restroom, into the main dining area; no one else was there.. It even seemed that the restaurant staff had left and closed. It made her all the more nervous to be there, standing alone, in an empty restaurant with a… goblin woman?… dressed as a prom queen.

Finley shook her head and continued forward. Hermit was annoying, but she wasn’t mean or ill-intended, so far. Besides, it didn’t seem that Finley had much of a way out right now.

Finley stood a little taller, picked up the skirt of her dress, and headed toward the table.