Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
「☽」Tora-kun daijōbu?「☾」
Previous Chapter Summary
Kitty and Fi-So in present day are sent to dimension O-090 to prevent the destruction of the dimension. They have taken refuge at a poor farmland. While out, Kitty learns of a dangerous chemical called moonsmoke. After a warning from their supervisor, Angel and prodding from Fi-So, Kitty reveals that she’s been prolonging their visit because they are in her original dimension.
PT 389, Dimension O-090
A younger version of Kitty walked through the streets of one of the gigantic landmasses. The air was clear, the bright blue sky ignored by the morning rush. Large buildings stretched high, contrasting the small stands selling handmade clothes, food, and goods all throughout the town.
This became the most egregious at the shopping center. It was a cluster of stands set up haphazardly every morning. Parked right on the landing dock. Without proper navigation skills, you were sure to be pulled into the hustle and bustle of the land.
Kitty blew through the crowd like a needle expertly guided through a thread. There was no doubt in her movements. When a man tried to stop her on the street, somehow not knowing who she was, she quickly told him off before continuing on. She stopped at a store away from the chaos, inhabited by a small number of customers. Regulars chatting it up with a friendly man with a strong accent.
“Kitty! My girl! I haven’t seen you in a while!” The shopkeeper said. The badge on his chest said “Buck”. They slapped their hands together, concluding with a complicated handshake.
The other customers checked out while Kitty examined Buck’s wares. She collected small slips of papers that sat in front of different types of breads, meats, and vegetables. She delivered the slips of papers, which she had written numbers on to indicate the amount of goods she wanted.
“Where have you been? Don’t tell me you betrayed me and went to another shop.”
“No. We’ve been getting rations since I joined the fighting force.” Kitty responded. “Tora’s been eating good. He’s been spending a lot of time at home. I think he needs a job. You open to applications?”
Buck counted out Kitty’s goods nonchalantly, adding more than he needed to. “If you wanna grab one, you’re more than welcome. The little squirt will probably get the job. I say let the kid be a kid before life settles in.”
“I guess you’re right. I’ll have to talk to him.” Kitty responded.
“Wow…From bartender to fighter. You’ve got spirit in you. Make sure your little brother inherits that spirit. But hey, what do I know? I don’t have any siblings. If I did I’d love em’. Having a brother growing up would’ve been great.” Buck rambled.
“You’re full of shit. You’d totally bully your brother.”
“Ah, probably. That’ll be one-hundred draco. I added in some extra stuff for ya.”
Kitty took out a card, she tapped it on a rickety machine, energy flew out of the draco card and into the machine, filling it up with a light blue liquid that had a glow to it.
“Thank you Buck. You’re a great help.”
Kitty walked out of the door with a friendly wave. She weaved through the maze-like streets of Mallard Sector. Eventually coming on a circular house that seemed like it had been built from different giant pieces of metal. When she entered, she met Tora.
He was a teenage boy, but she still thought of him as her baby brother. He helped her bring groceries in the house even though he didn’t really need to. He had begun to grow his hair out. It was dirty blonde just like Kitty’s, there was a cowlick on top that never went down. He wore hand-me-down clothes from Kitty, or clothes that he bought with his own draco. Recently, he had become more selective of what he wanted to wear. Now he wore a coat that Kitty used to own, and a shirt he bought from one of the night shows that happened at the shopping center. Where people got in these flashy uniforms and acted out stories.
Growing up, Kitty was the rebellious one. She had to hold her own on the streets when their parents died early. While she deflected the grief and pain of her parent’s disappearance, Tora did not. He took all the pain in. Becoming homeridden for a year or so. With frequent sickness or depression striking him. He helped as much as he could, but Kitty never let him push himself too hard.
The forboding silence between them as they brought groceries in spoke to their relationship. Tora was more of a stable individual, while Kitty would get snippy from time to time about the things she bottled up. While it didn’t push them completely away from each other, it led to a gradual distance that the two of them noticed but ignored.
Tora was recently done with school. He excelled. Now, at fifteen, he completed puzzles on a new database known as the library for draco. The library was an electronic database that the young people were storing information on. It was in a wild-west state; Anybody could travel freely, Viruses were most likely rampant, and the poor and rich could finally talk, albeit anonymously. Kitty didn’t like to mess with any of that. While they brought food in, they exchanged formalities. “How was your day?” “Good. Yours?” “Good.” However, there was one question that Tora consistently asked.
“Have the mallard forces asked any more of you?”
“What?” Kitty acted surprised, as always
“Y-you never really talk about what happens with all the Les Cavaliers stuff.”
Les Cavaliers was the military force that opposed La Masse. Overtime, there were two groups that were created, each gaining their own cult following. It created mass hysteria and distrust in communities. People who were supporting the Les Cavaliers, were worried that their neighbors could be supporting La Masse. While worry had calmed down, there were still suspicions of spies and espionage.
“There’s not much to talk about. It’s just busywork. Repairing equipment, tending to the wounded. Whatever. You worried about me or something, bro?” Kitty taunted.
“What if you have to fight on the front lines? I heard that it could happen to anyone if they lose enough people.” Tora continued. “Are you really not worried?”
“No. Not at all. I’m fighting for your safety, and my people’s safety. It’s an honor.”
“Maybe we can do something soon. Could we go catch a play or something? Maybe get something to eat?”
“I’m sorry, buddy. My shift starts soon. But it’s almost the weekend. I’ll be on call but there’ll be some time off. We can hang then. How does that sound?”
“Yeah. That sounds okay.” Tora croaked.
He ended up hiding himself in his room. Sinking into the library. Tora’s room was adorned with tapestries he had acquired as gifts from Kitty, or ones that were given to him by school friends. There was a bed in the corner that lacked a frame and sheets. A mess of scrambled pillows and a crumpled up blanket. There were photos that either he or comrades had taken that were taped around his room. He had edited them manually. Adding interesting paint over them to create an artistic appearance. There was a beaten up guitar in the corner of the room that seems to have not been touched in a long time. The main thing that drew attention, in the middle of the room, was the giant mirage of monitors and computer systems that sat on the floor and on his desk. The anti-virus systems and power that he needed to access even the deepest depths of the library was immense. Tora heard a ping noise on one of his computers.
“Message received.”
“Read it.”
“It says “Hello fellow traveler of the deep library.” End message.” A robotic voice sounded.
Tora typed back. “Who are you?”
“A friend. Do you want to talk more?”
A query appeared under the message. Tora could click yes or no. He pressed yes.
“Perfect. My name is Baptiste.” The message said. “What do you want to talk about?”
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Shattered Gravity - Part 3 「𖤓」Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the jinxed S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Kitty has a little brother named Tora who is a teenager, but she still seems him as a little boy (relatable). Kitty is more of a fighter and not entirely stable while Tora is more grounded in reality and slightly more gentle. He and Kitty have very different personalities and that causes some distance between them, but at least they care for each other, right? It can’t be easy for them with their parents dead, after all.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I love how you described the relationship between Kitty and Tora, it feels like a real sibling relationship and I feel bad for the both of them. I also liked that moment where Baptiste contacted Tora, it’s full of suspense and…did I see the name before? Maybe I’m imagining it, but I feel like I’ve seen the name before…
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, I enjoyed reading this chapter and I will be certain to read more! I wonder who Baptiste is and how he will impact Tora and possibly Kitty. I will have to see later and…
I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^
Hello, My Friend!
Also, to avoid confusion in the future, this is not my usual review format. As it is YVS day, I am embracing a new Avocado theme! Still inspired by the YWS'mores method
Pleasure to meet you! I am Raven, and after previously reading the first chapter of this story, I was curious where it stood now! And of course, I'll review as I catch up
Spoiler
Let’s dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh…
Testing Ripeness...
After a fascinating introduction to Kitty and Fi's universe in Chapter 1, this chapter does a great job advancing the plot, introducing some more common characters, and doing a bit of worldbuilding as well. And I enjoyed all of the above! Let's get into the details though.
The Pit...
This chapter was well-written! The dialogue felt appropriate for the setting, casual and easy to follow, while the descriptions built us some fascinating visuals. There are a few recommendations I would like to mention in good spirit, free to take or leave:
Firstly, this digital "deep library" sounds so eerie and cool! Though the formatting here had me a bit confused for a moment. Maybe, instead of putting the message in another case of quotation marks, it could be italicized or use single quotations? "It says, Hello fellow traveler of the deep library. End message." A very minor thing either way, I could just be nitpicky haha.
Next, this transition from Kitty's perspective to Tora's. I just thought there could be a little more clarification on that swap. Perhaps mentioning Kitty going off to put the groceries away or something, then adding a transitionary term like "meanwhile, Tora ended up hiding..." This would help show that the perspective is focused on Tora alone, and Kitty isn't with him (what I originally thought lol). This is a tricky sort of thing I'm trying to fix in my own story lol.
Finally, a minor detail that would really help your descriptions pop, sensory notes! I noticed some little ones that were great, but maybe introduce a little more, like the feeling of a breeze through the streets, the smell of goods in Buck's store, maybe the clicky sound as Tora clicks away at his monitor?
Of course, that is just my opinion, and I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt. I mean nothing negative through any of this,and just as well, the chapter is great as it is ~
Green Goodness!
Ah, what to point at for highlights? You gave me a hard time, trying to pick favorite moments!
First of all, big props for descriptions! As mentioned, you gave us a lot of fascinating visuals, from the town at large to all the little everyday details, like the draco currency and the way it's exchanged (minor moment, but I thought it sounded really cool, haha).
Likewise, the way you showed how Kitty navigates this area reflected on her character as we know it, which I thought was a nice touch:
Confident, headstrong, and very familiar with this region. Not to mention, it's a good line. Nice detail ~
Ah, and moving on to the introduction of Tora, I loved the contrast you showed between them, regarding their troubled past, how they took it, and what they internalized from it.
I felt like this immense difference was reflected in their interactions, and among other details, it shows a complicated relationship that may be strained but nonetheless there. That usually means there's a lot of potential for growth and development, and I am genuinely curious about the direction these characters are heading in ~
Finally, that cool cliffhanger moment with the monitor! Such a mysterious message, and the simple, vague response regarding an identity made it even better in that regard.
I can't help questioning if this is really a friend here...
The Final Guac...
Overall, awesome secondary chapter! Hopefully I'll be able to catch up soon. In the meantime, nicely done!
Thank you for the review! I will certainly look into those changes. Your tip about adding sensory details helped a lot! I am happy you have taken an interest with Kitty and Tora in particular.
Hello, friend!

Kitty's running around a market she hasn't been to in a while because of her job. She joined the fighting force and has been receiving rations to help her and her brother, Tora. She goes back home to him after leaving the market with groceries. Tora helps Kitty bring them in, but nonetheless, their relationship is a little estranged. Tora inquires about Kitty's new job, but he's shut down, so he goes back to his room, where he finds a peculiar message waiting for him.
I have come back to check out another part of this incredibly interesting story!!
Per my interpretation, this was another epic addition to add to this novel! I loved the way you showed Kitty's past and how you left us on an enticing cliffhanger!!
Brief Summary:
Spoiler
This was an incredibly interesting plot!!
If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be related to a really itty-bitty spelling mistake that is very common. When you were talking about the stands in the shopping center, you said,
While I know exactly what you were trying to say and what you meant in this sentence, you still misspelled "haphazardly." Many, many people make this mistake, especially if they've never seen it written before. "Half-hazardly" does seem like the logical way to spell it. But English is weird, and your text should look more like this:
But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.
If I had to pick my favorite part, that would be difficult... Because I liked pretty much everything about this part! But, because I can't copy and paste your whole story, I decided to pick a couple of things that really jumped out at me... Here we go!!
The first thing that really stood out to me was the way you portrayed Kitty and Tora's relationship! Even though they don't show each other too much love, it's still there and prevalent. You said,
I love the way this implies how much care Kitty has for Tora's mental wellbeing! She's going out of her way to make sure he doesn't get overwhelmed or overwork himself, which is definitely something an older sister would do! Kudos to you for portraying her love and their relationship so well!!
The other thing that caught my eye while I was reading this was the way you showed how ominous and complex the library is! You made it seem scary in a sense, especially when you explained what it took to access the library. You said,
The way this eventually led to an unknown message from an unknown sender was even better! This built up the ending in such an interesting way, sort of foreshadowing toward it in a sense. I really liked the way this was written and everything it implied, so good job there!
Overall, this was an outstanding work, and I'm really looking forward to wherever this leads! I had a joyous time reading, and I will definitely be back for more!!
Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!
Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!
Thank you very much for the review! Your kind comments really made my day ( %u02F6%u02C6%u15DC%u02C6%u02F5 )
I also appreciated your keen eye with my spelling error - edits have been made!
Thank you for being engaged with Kitty's story!
Sorry for the jumble of text there - it was supposed to be a happy emoji