Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
Mara: Go Away
TW: 18+ | Descriptions of Violence | Mature Language
PT 360, The Desert of Sinkholes
Who are you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8XA9oOgeyM
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,580 Literary Works • 672,172 Reviews
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the daunting S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - This is talking about Mara and Alice and their traumas, but most specifically, Mara’s caused by Redman. Redman killed Annie and even though he feels bad about it, he still did it. He still took Mara away.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I’ve got no recommendations, that was genuinely terrifying to watch.
Chocolate Bar - I love how you had the realistic hand shoot…Mara? Or was it Alice? Either way, I feel like that symbolizes the reality of this situation and the uncanniness of it all, especially have a real limb in a cartoon drawing. And the text to speech where I believe Mara is talking about how much Redman hurt her shows the despair she must be feeling, especially with Annie being dead. He changed her whole life and she didn’t even get a say.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a very frightening and sad chapter about how badly Mara and Alice have been hurt by this. They be different, but in sadness, they are matched. I will be sure to read the next chapter and…
I wish you a lovely day/night! ^v^
Watched the video. That was slightly disturbing. Also, how dare you make me somewhat sad for Redman, only wishing for a connection
I feel like in the video you have the line "once this is over" doesn't sound quite like that to my foreign ears?
At least I really appreciate the insight in Redman. That he truly believes he's doing the right thing with Mara (and the other glitches) no matter how many "not-glitches" he murders in the process. [Future Tika: Or rather that this is what Samsa assigns to him. He cannot know his mind afterall]
Also interesting to hear this nebulous narrator refer to Mara as a scourge, someone who has to be basically deleted. But who wants that when we see in Mara's chapter that there are many different copies of her. So Mara might just started out as a pawn for someone else and then grew into something too dangerous to contain, prpbably bc Redman freed this version of her!
*reads your comment* Ah. So that was Samsa. Interesting that he calls her a scourge and then has so many of Mara in basically his basement...
Join the fight! Write more reviews!
I'm glad you enjoyed this =D
Yeah, the line is "once this is over", I apologize for the american accent lol (I see you are from Germany, and I have a bunch of German friends from my time abroad!!!)
I'm glad you saw a little more from Redman here, and I really loved writing Samsas dialogue here. Not really sure how I would translate this into an "official" written work, but I think thats more for future me to decide.
A bit of a different pull here. This is a video that is from Mara's pov for the most part. It's supposed to be...weird.
I would be the most curious what you think about Samsa's monologue from the end here.
A bit of a different pull here. This is a video that is from Mara's pov for the most part. It's supposed to be...weird.
I would be the most curious what you think about Samsa's monologue from the end here.