z

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

[Kitty] Shattered Gravity - Part 1 「𖤓」

by goodolnoah


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

「𖤓」What/Who「𖤓」

Kitty Intro (check it out!)

PT 395

The Dimension Regulation Unit is an extra dimensional sector that exists somewhere out of our physical space. Somewhere outside of all known dimensions and space. They appear and reappear like time travelers. Moving in and out of time and space to do their best to fix dimensional rips.

It is uncertain how big their network has grown. Some say it has grown so big that it is incalculable. Due to a special type of subclass of beings known as glitches.

Glitches exist somewhere in between dimensions. Their new-hires are all glitches. Glitches with special powers and no rights, as far as DRU is concerned. They get food, drink, shelter, and are rewarded with treats when they perform well!

There is a human-glitch duo that tops the best lists, an anomaly within DRU. They have no notable incredibly special powers. So how are they topping the charts of jobs done in the DRU database?

It is all about who falls into line, and how well they are able to. For this duo, Kitty Alua keeps her glitch, Fi-So, on a leash. If Kitty is happy, Fi-So is happy. They say it’s something about the glitches. They have…feelings? Kitty’s a pretty emotionally available girl. Since when did glitches and humans get along? DRU Personnel does not expect this to last very long.

They have been sent on a mission to destroy a Radio core, a structure that if not destroyed, will destroy the dimension. An easy job for professionals like them.

ম॥ψ, চ॥ψ. Kitty. Up up! It’s rude to be late. Swanhild is getting impatient.” Fi barked.

There were swarms of chickens flying to and fro. Their feathers shedding from their bodies as they flew around, startled from the sudden shifting in gravity.

Kitty and Fi had traveled to a place called Brasspoint sector. The land had lifted above the Earth, or whatever lay below them. Right off of the floating continent, there was a huge, red tree that stood strong. It was probably almost the size of a football field, it stretched high into the clouds, disappearing from sight.

They stepped out into a large portion of farmland, with a small amount of houses, big and small with similar farms connected by rickety bridges. In the middle of the farm, there was a man hard at work.

This was one of the few times Fi-So was out of their normal outfit, a poncho paired with a plague mask. They are from a society that valued gender greatly. When they found out they did not conform to either, they were shunned and exiled for this. Their plague outfit was a black and white that was messily sewn together by their late mother. Black for male, and white for female.

While they often wore their plague mask to hide their identity, when with Kitty, they usually took it off. By this time, Fi and Kitty had each gotten to know Swanhild well. A young man who struggled to keep his farm afloat, he offered them shelter if they were to work on the farm with him each day.

The days were hot, and physically taxing on Kitty’s, and even Fi’s body on occasion. Fi walked to Swanhild, they had borrowed a white top fit for a tough, smoldering work day.

Kitty prepared the house in preparation for the afternoon. Today, Swanhild’s partner was returning home, it was Kitty’s job to help around the house and the local community. However, She would rather be doing work with Fi-So. But they seemed to get along well with Swanhild.

He was a simple, quiet man. He informed Fi of the work, they worked their asses off the entire day, and then enjoyed his home-made dinner. They met Swanhild on the edge of their land, where there was a huge pile of rocks.

“What are we up to today, Swanhild?” Fi asked.

“Moving rocks. The entire sector is preparing to bring our collections of draco stones to power the gravity generators.”

“I thought we didn’t have gravity generators.”

“The heavy landmasses in Brasspoint demand their stones. Keeps the world moving.”

“Sounds like bullshit to me. Those rich asses above us shouldn’t be stepping on those above just so they feel better about themselves. The land at the bottom are farmers like you, struggling to keep your chickens and cows fed. Sounds like ১೨iℼt to me.”

“We get crushed if their generators run out. Then I have no farm. So let us dig!”

A lizard-like woman came into the house to greet Kitty. Fi had seen her walk into the house. Kitty saw their confusion from the window of the house. Only for them to brush it off and continue working with Swanhild. She had human-like blonde hair that went down to her chin. But her skin and face was snake-like. It was green, and surely rough upon touching. This was immediately confirmed when Kitty shook her hand kindly. She wore some sort of summer dress. Covering up her still mostly-humanlike body.

“Nice to meet you. That’s a really cute choker.” Kitty complimented.

“Oh. Why thank you. It’s a keepsake from my Swanhild. I’m happy to hear you have stuck around for so long. He usually hires travelers. I’m Gila by the way.”

“I’m sorry. We are travelers, but we aren’t in too much of a rush. Fi-So and I like to help Swanhild. He’s a simple man, and his dinners are the best!”

“Yes. They are indeed. I’ve been out on business. I’m a politician here. We are working on gaining rights for the lower lands. Maybe we will be able to get some rations instead of living off the farms. Usually landmasses above us will block sunlight. So farming is only viable…sometimes.”

“You must be really brave to step up and lead like that.” Kitty said, looking up at Gila.

“It really isn’t that big of a deal. My body makes me noticeable next to the other politicians in the world. It’s odd. You don’t seem to be bothered by the way I look.”

“Oh-well I didn’t kn-” Kitty stumbled on her words.

“I’m just messing with you. It’s important to make others take notice of the qualities that make you unique. Come on, Swanhild said you are to be my bodyguard.”

“Did you have bodyguards when you were out?”

“Yes. It is a dangerous world, you have to be ready for anything. If I were to show others that I could actually fight, they’ll probably give me some weapons and make me a soldier in one good night.”

“The war…”

“The war is still going on. It feels like it’s been hundreds of years. Anyway, come. I want to go talk to some of the townsfolk. There’s also some that I keep in the loop.”

Gila opened the fridge, where there was a large tin of sandwiches and water. She pulled it from the inside and plopped it into Kitty’s hands.

They traveled into the main area. It wrapped directly around the base of the huge tree. There were small shops, food stands, and shelter for the poor. There was some sort of elevator in the middle of the tree. It was the only high-tech machine in the place. Like the rich placed it there if they ever wanted to come to laugh at the downtrodden of society.

“Hey, what do you think is a quality that makes me unique?” Kitty asked, out of conversation topics.

“You’re…31 right?”

Kitty nodded.

With a laugh, she admitted, “You have this youthful glow about you. Like you’re ten years younger at heart”

“Is that…a compliment?”

Many of the people present excitedly came over to Gila. Greeting her happily, expecting good news. When she told them the news that they may be able to get some rations, a happy smile touched their faces.

Others seemed to steer clear of her. Whatever species of human she was, there were none of them around. Some denizens of the area were xenophobic, staying hidden away in their homes, believing whatever the men up above said on their TVs. Gila was particularly popular with the kids. Who seemed to love hanging out with them. Her and Kitty went to the homeless shelter, and handed out free sandwiches and juice to the kids at the shelter. All the leftovers were shared with the other homeless.

Kitty stayed in the background. She was protective of her face, keeping her distance from the people in the village as they walked around. She did her very best to blend in.

There was one person among the homeless who stood out. They wore a large cloak. Hiding their face and any features that may be telling of who they were. As Gila played with the children, the figure slipped something into her drink. The distance she had put between herself and Gila was too much for her to make any move as Gila picked her drink up.

This is gonna hurt…” She thought as she whipped the knife from her side.

She sliced through her arm in one quick motion. Her arm acted like an extension of herself. It moved through the air with precision, slapping the drink from Gila’s hand before it met her lips. The pain hit later as Kitty ripped a piece of her shirt to cover up her bloodied arm. Kitty wasn’t in the business of traumatizing kids anymore than she already may have.

She rushed over, grabbed her arm from the air, and reattached it.

“Kitty, what was that?” Gila asked, startled.

“Someone tried to put something in your drink. I’ll be right back!” She cried.

The person in the cloak began to run away. Kitty rushed to follow them. They jumped off the main area to a lower one. A floating back-alley with dark buildings blocked behind fences. The cloaked figure bolted down the alleyway, throwing debris in front of Kitty. She vaulted over, as she rolled to her feet, she ripped her knife from her side and cut off one of her arms. It could move much faster than she could by herself. They took out what seemed like a small, but cheaply made gun. They yelled in a different language, and fired the gun at Kitty, only for the gun to blow into bits. Tiny bits of metal rocketing through their hand. They mumbled words as they lay crumpled on the ground.

Kitty took off their hood. It was a poor woman.

“Vo’ mee vovo vovodoh mee la. (I’m sorry this happened to you.)” Kitty apologized.

“Vo dadoh doh vee...vo' vo doh vo la. Daladoh yay doh la mee dd vomee dohmeemee doh da. (I failed the king...I'm as good as dead. Please put me out of my misery before he can.)”

Kitty looked in the woman’s fearful eyes. Blood spewed from her mauled hand. She let out words of terror in her language.

She responded in her language. “vo’ meevee, Vo da vo y☧rs. (It’s okay, I know it hurts.)”

Be a good leader…A good leader.

She stabbed the woman in the heart. Her usual immediate response was to bury anybody she had killed. Throwing them into the void was disrespectful in her opinion. So she cut off her other arm, each of the arms carried her behind Kitty. Who brought her to a gravesite in a more suitable location. Where there were lines of the dead buried under rocks. Kitty did the same to her unfortunate victim after reattaching her arms.

She returned to Gila, who was inside of the homeless shelter. All of her followers were checking for any other threats in the area.

“Thank you for the save. If I were to have drank that…well…”

“What? Did you find out what was in it?” Kitty asked.

“It was a liquidated form of moonsmoke. It’s a dangerous chemical that usually looks like gas. The Baptistes used it a lot in the war. Causing many to go insane until they passed.”

Kitty silently nodded. The worry on her face conveyed exactly what she felt.

“We’ll keep a close eye out for anybody else who looks like that person. What happened with them? Were you able to get any information?”

“No…”

Kitty and Gila returned to the farm as it began to get darker. Fi was happy to sit down with Kitty to eat dinner that was freshly cooked by Swanhild.

“Sorry, is it okay if Kitty and I excuse ourselves to eat in our quarters?” Fi asked.

“Of course. You have such good manners, Fi-So. Your mom certainly raised you right.”

“Yeah, dinners were always a very important ritual in our family. Next time let me cook with you, Swanhild!” Fi announced as they walked away with Kitty.

They sat down in the farm, keeping their food just out of reach from the animals. Fi took a pod out of their bag of supplies, and threw it to the ground. A hologram of a man was produced. He wore a tan suit jacket under a DRU jacket. His hair was white and his skin dark. He turned around to look at Fi and Kitty. He took a puff of a cigarette.

“You wanted to hear from us, Angel?” Fi asked.

“Let me hear the good news. Have you destroyed the Radio core yet?”

“No, we haven’t. We are making progress towards it. I learned some important information while I was out.” Kitty said.

“Bullshit. Sounds like you're taking your time. Your file says that you know where the core was. So just destroy it! I don’t know what’s taking you so long.” He belittled

“Sorry. I was shoveling rocks all day. My back really hurts. Kitty’s tired too. Can’t you see? Find someone else to pester.” Fi taunted. They stuck their tongue out at Angel.

“You two are the number ones here. It doesn’t usually take you this long to snuff out a radio core. You’d be onto your next dimension by now. Get moving!” Angel pestered.

He disappeared from the pod, Kitty picked it up while finishing some food.

“God, I hate it when he oversees our missions. I am all about sticking it to the man and all, but we have been moving kind of slow. Something up with you Kitty?” Fi asked. “Everytime I ask you if you’re ready to move up in this place, you always seem to want to stay and help with Swanhild. I can only do so much farmwork before I die.”

Good leaders don’t lie.” She thought before answering Fi. “Yeah. There’s a reason that I have been taking it slow.”

“Ooookay. What is it? Is something up?” They asked.

“This is my original dimension.” 


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151 Reviews


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Sat Mar 02, 2024 12:30 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello, friend!!
This review is brought to you by review team Potato!

Get ready... Get set...
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Keep Your Eyes Peeled - My Interpretation

Woah... This story gripped me and dragged me in! Everything about it was so enticing—learning about other dimensions, radio cores, and glitches! This was a really exciting part, and I'm so looking forward to the rest of the novel!

Brief Summary: We're following the story of Kitty and Fi-So, a duo looking to destroy the radio core of a dimension. In trying to accomplish their goal, they've gotten close to several other people and begun to work on a farm tirelessly, causing them to push back their mission. Eventually, Fi finds out that Kitty has been intentionally prolonging their visit because they're in her original dimension.

This was such an interesting start to a novel, and I'm so thrilled for more!!


It's The Tot That Counts - Some Advice

There wasn't much I could find wrong with this part... Which is a really good thing!! But there was one part that sort of threw me for a loop... It was when you were talking about the other humans being xenophobic. You said,

Gila was particularly popular with the kids. Who seemed to love hanging out with them.


These two sentences are a tad bit confusing and left me wondering who loved hanging out with whom. Like, is the second sentence referring to the kids or Gila? I feel like this could be changed slightly to make that concept a little easier to infer... You could honestly just make it one sentence and say,

Gila was particularly popular with the kids, who seemed to love hanging out with them.


Now, with the way this sentence is set up, it's a little less confusing, and we can easily deduce that the kids seem to love hanging out with Gila. It's a simple change, but it can do a lot!

But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


That's Absolutely Mashing - My Favorites

With this being such a wonderful work, there were many things that I enjoyed while reading! But I don't want to keep you here for too long, so I'm only going to pick out a few of my absolute favorites!

The first thing that really stood out to me in this part was the introduction! You wrote it so well! All of the questions and foreshadowing done in the opening few paragraphs were absolutely phenomenal! You said,

There is a human-glitch duo that tops the best lists, an anomaly within DRU. They have no notable, incredibly special powers. So how are they topping the charts of jobs done in the DRU database?

It is all about who falls into line and how well they are able to. For this duo, Kitty Alua keeps her glitch, Fi-So, on a leash. If Kitty is happy, Fi-So is happy. They say it’s something about the glitches. They have…feelings? Kitty’s a pretty emotionally available girl. Since when did glitches and humans get along? DRU personnel do not expect this to last very long.


Everything about the intro was so well done! Everything about it dragged me in and gave me questions that I desperately want answers to! And that's the exact purpose of an introduction, meaning yours did it's job fantastically! You did such a great job with the opening, so kudos to you for that!

Another thing that jumped out at me while I was reading was your absolutely stellar detail! This is especially true in regards to the scene where Kitty is chasing the homeless woman. You painted such a vivid picture and showed exactly what was going on, saying,

The person in the cloak began to run away. Kitty rushed to follow them. They jumped from the main area to a lower one. A floating back-alley with dark buildings blocked behind fences. The cloaked figure bolted down the alleyway, throwing debris in front of Kitty. She vaulted over, and as she rolled to her feet, she ripped her knife from her side and cut off one of her arms. It could move much faster than she could by herself.


This is a very engrossing scene that you were able to write! It almost feels as if I'm there, watching it all go down... And if writing can make a reader feel like that, it's safe to say it's a pretty good piece of work! Good job with your amazing detail!

The final thing that caught my eye while reading this epic part one came at the very end. Something of great magnitude is revealed and is set to change the entire direction of the story. This is when Kitty says,

“This is my original dimension.”


What?!?!? Kitty has been sent to destroy her home dimension?? That's crazy, and exactly as captivating as it needs to be! I loved reading this sentence, as it gave me even more questions that make me even more excited for the next chapter! You did a wonderful job choosing the last sentence of this part, so good job there!


Time Fries When You're Having Fun - Final Words

This was so good!! I had such a blast reading, and I really enjoyed learning all that I did! I hope the next few parts come quickly because I'll be back as soon as they are!

Chip, chip, hooray!! Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


I'll see you tater! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!




goodolnoah says...


Thank you very much for the review! I appreciate the compliments and criticism as well. I think something I have to work on is sentence structure, so the comment about Gila will help me going forward!

One comment, Kitty has not been sent to destroy her dimension, she has been sent to destroy a Radio core residing in her dimension. The Radio core is what could destroy her dimension if Kitty and Fi don't destroy it first. Again though, thank you for the review and the many compliments. I appreciate you!



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Sat Mar 02, 2024 10:47 am
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Coffeewriter says...



Once again, posted twice. I really need to figure out how to stop this-
Have a good day/night everyone!!




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34 Reviews


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Reviews: 34

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Sat Mar 02, 2024 10:46 am
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Coffeewriter wrote a review...



Woahhhh, love this! It’s amazing, descriptive and imaginative! I love how much detail you’ve put in there and how you have kept some suspense but not too much that the reader may get confused and bored. Great imagination but I would recommend not using so many different names for species and stuff because it can get confusing what is what. What you have now is perfectly good and well articulated! I love the character of Kitty-she’s quite a good-hearted and kind heroine that the readers can relate to. Along with Gila, who’s a great side character and she’s shown kind and that type of person that you can trust and the person who’s wise. My favourite quote is this one:
‘ Kitty stayed in the background. She was protective of her face, keeping her distance from the people in the village as they walked around. She did her very best to blend in.’
It shows that she’s very reserved and mindful of what her job is and why she’s there and also may show her personality a bit!

Overall, great piece and can’t wait to read part 2!!





cron
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
— Jules de Gaultier