Are we even friends?
Probably not,
I'm just a classmate to you,
Aren't I?
We've had brief conversations before,
But I guess that doesn't matter,
Right?
How do I get you to talk to me?
I just want a friend,
Don't I?
Or maybe I want something more than that?
I see your gaze from across the classroom,
I wonder what's in your head,
But,
I won't know unless you talk to me.
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141,220 Literary Works • 674,280 Reviews
Hii, Aster here!
I'll try to give my thoughts good shape in this review.
First, your piece is simple, doesn't have heavy figures of speech but I can literally IMAGINE the scene of loving someone yet being unsure, the pieces feels raw, as if written with deep feeling, not just for the sake of writing.
Second, the piece is pretty, perfect and raw in its own majestic way. It lets me connect very well.
I don't really know what area you can improve in but I wish you write more pieces like these,
Good luck! 🍀✨️
I really like how this poem talks about the person's crush (presumably), but they're not sure whether they like them or not; like this part:
and the fact that they are not even sure that their crush(?) sees them as a friend like
and describes how both of them never actually had a full conversation. That captures how the person really wants to know their crush.
This piece makes me think about how many students have similar situations. It also writes about the uncertainty and unsureness of the feelings and the latter's impression of the person. I like how it describes how real this can be.
Overall, the pacing and voice works really well. I like the fact that we see how the person is unsure of what they want. And I think the structure is really cool, like
or
and
It gives the impression of thoughts interrupting the person's flow, as in the superego (in my opinion).
Annnd, just a theory. The title, Lover/Friend, makes me think of Lover *divided by* Friend; I think that means that the hope of being lovers is destroyed, or scattered, by the thought that believes that being "friends" is more possible.
This is a great piece, keep up!