Open the door, throw down the key,
Shout 'Hello' no one home but me,
I sit on the sofa, cherishing the silence,
But all of my thoughts are filled with violence,
I hear the creek of the opening door,
I dive behind the sofa and lie on the floor,
Footsteps thundering down the hall,
His booming voice, that terrifying call,
'I know you're here, I'm going to find you'
I start to panic, what should I do?
His big brown eyes meet with mine,
He drags me to my feet, I'm hoping I'll be fine,
He hits me once, I whimper in fear,
He tells me to shush, his words are clear,
He throws me to the floor, I cover my face,
Willing him to get off my case,
He sends me to my room, following me to the door,
I slam it in his face, then dive on the floor,
I realise my Mum is finally home,
Now I smile instead of groan,
She comes to my room and gives me a hug,
Now we can be a real family, like we should,
I go through this all the time,
Then I have to pretend that I am fine,
My friends at school think it's all okay,
But they don't see him everyday,
No matter what I do, he'll keep on going,
he makes me hides my feelings, to stop the scars from showing,
I've got to do something about it, the bullies at school aswell,
Beause, quite simply, my Step-Dad's making my life hell...
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Wow. That was incredibly powerful. I can feel your pain and sorrow by reading this. I also liked how it was a compilation of couplets rather than whole stanzas. That made it seem more like a story, I think. One thing:
Sure, I can see where home and groan rhyme. I'll accept that.
But hug and should? Sorry, they just don't work.
Quite frankly, this blew me away. Keep writing.
This isn't based off of real experiences, is it? I hope not.
Keep up the fantastic work,
*anti-pop