Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Short Story » Satire

E - Everyone

Chocoholics Anonymous

by goldenbriarrose128

Hello, my name is Lisa and it has been three days since my last chocolate binge.

Hi Lisaa...

I really feel like chocolate has begun to control me, y'know? I wake up every single day and think, 'I should have Cocoa Puffs for breakfast'. I won't eat anything if it doesn't have chocolate on it. The other day, I was at a restaurant and I asked for chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla and the waitress was like, "Sure!" And so I waited patiently as one does for their dessert at a restaurant, and a few minutes later she brought out the cake and what ice cream did she bring out? VANILLA. VANILLA ICE CREAM, people. VANILLA. I would NOT EAT IT. Just last Thursday, I wanted to put CHOCOLATE SAUCE on a HOT DOG.

Lisa, what did you do after your hot dog fiasco?

Well, I didn't put any chocolate sauce on the hot dog. But I REALLY wanted to.

Good job, Lisa. *faint clapping* Chocolate sauce belongs on sundaes, not hot dogs.

Exactly! But chocolate CONTROLS me! It's really hard to go a day without chocolate. My last binge was after this absolutely AWFUL test at school. I got an 85% on it. I need 90's to keep my GPA up. If I want to go a good college, I need a good GPA. To get a good GPA, I need good test grades. If I want to get good test grades, I need to study. But to study, I need a reward or I don't remember things, so chocolate is my reward. DO YOU SEE HOW THE STRUGGLE IS SO REAL?!

Yes, Lisa, and we confide in your hardship.

I don't know how people at school just don't eat chocolate. It's EVERYWHERE--in the vending machines, in the lunch line, in friends' lunches. 

Have you tried replacing your chocolate cravings with sweet fruit?

Yes, but it isn't the SAME. Chocolate is a gift from the Milky Way itself. Ooo, if anyone has a Milky Way, come talk to me.



You literally just ASKED for chocolate, at a chocoholic anonymous meeting.

So? It's good.

You're here to get help, not make your problem worse.

But it's such a sweet, beautiful, delicious, chocolatey problem. What's so wrong with that?

When you eat chocolate, you eat almost five chocolate bars in one sitting. That isn't very healthy. tastes good.

Lisa, we are concerned for your health.

That's okay, just let me know when I can go home. My mom made brownies! She just texted me. Y'all can come along if you want.

Oh Lisa...

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
15 Reviews

Points: 36
Reviews: 15

Wed Feb 15, 2017 4:15 am
Cub wrote a review...

This was a hilarious story! If there really is such a thing as a Chocoholic's Anonymous meeting, trust me, I need to go! The way that you made chocolate into a suddenly addictive problem was really quite funny due to the utter absurdity of it. You definitely wrote this story well, as I got a good sense of Lisa's main motivation (chocolate), and her utter cluelessness to her situation. Keep on writing! If you make another story like this one, I'll want to read it.

User avatar
95 Reviews

Points: 31
Reviews: 95

Sun Nov 27, 2016 12:26 am
BeTheChange wrote a review...

This was funny, and semi-relatable, but, I'm sorry, there were sliiight offensive undertones, implications of binge-eating disorder. Please don't be offended by my social justice-ness. I just had to point that out. One final negative: Near the beginning, you have two a's in Lisa.
Anyway, onto the positives: the part about studying and grades was so relatable! It was by far my favorite part of the story. In close second was the part about chocolate sauce on a hot dog. Gross food combos for the win, am I right? Lol.
Overall, good, but not entirely for me because I know too much about mental disorders. :/

Random avatar

Points: 240
Reviews: 0

Wed Jun 29, 2016 8:01 pm
miachitwood1 says...

Random avatar

Points: 266
Reviews: 3

Wed Jun 29, 2016 7:50 pm
tiddlebow234 wrote a review...

Haha I love this satire. As a fan of chocolate myself, it gave me great pleasure to read. The way in which you wrote such a story with such whim was a very enjoyable experience to read. You definitely have a strength for satirical short stories; remember that. I really liked how you put in the italicized what the other members of the group were saying. It added a good effect and a nice flow. It was simple and funny. Good job and have a nice day.

User avatar
75 Reviews

Points: 1481
Reviews: 75

Wed Mar 23, 2016 3:20 pm
TZH wrote a review...

Ummmm Chocolate uhhh not my type. But what you penned is definitely like to resist.. though good message through humour perspective and I lov3d the way you penned.CHOCOHOLIC I like the word thiugh ;-) . I appreciate the way you carved your thinking . Love to read more of your work. Have a nice time ahead. Blessings!

User avatar
216 Reviews

Points: 93
Reviews: 216

Wed Mar 23, 2016 9:55 am
View Likes
DivergentDemigod wrote a review...

Hey Lisa!
We'll that was... wow that was something. You really really put in a great thought behind this chocolate support group. And hey if some thing like that exists in this earth then do inform me. I really need to get in one.
Anyway this work of yours was definitely good. I understand how difficult it is to resist chocolates, cause they are just so yummy! You can not stop with just one bar! Definitely no! And I'm gonna shamelessly confess that I'm a "choco-I-holic and I regret nothing..."
Overall I loved your work. Great job there.

Keep on writing

P.s.-And hey is your mom really making brownies? Cause If it's so I'm definitely coming over!

User avatar
115 Reviews

Points: 1913
Reviews: 115

Wed Mar 23, 2016 4:49 am
View Likes
PickledChrissy says...

Um, wow? I don't really know what else to say. This must be the first time I've ever seen anything like this. Good job! :D While I don't really like chocolate, I can definitely appreciate the humor in this. ;)

User avatar
6 Reviews

Points: 399
Reviews: 6

Wed Mar 23, 2016 1:30 am

If you receive a bribe, you must report it in your income.
— John Oliver