if i implied that your heart
only breaks if your smart
would you think i'm dumb?
i'd rather be than ignorant and numb
if i told you the belly of the beast
was where i was the least
scared to coexist in
would you think almost akin?
if i joked i'd rather be a cat
living a decade long life format
for where in boredom i stayed sat
would you think i view life as a monochromat?
if i revealed i made the bulls-eye
bigger than the surrounding rings
would you be surprised i missed?
or would it have been expected out of all things?
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140,830 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!
First Impression: I'm thinking just from reading the title that this might be about if someone has enough money for something or maybe its about if they'll ever be about to find someone they love who they can trust.
this is a very sad start to think that the person who wrote this is asking someone if they think there dumb.
i can tell that a lot of pain went into this poem but I do fee like its hard to follow along with what you mean in this sentence.
also I feel as the than is messing up the flow of the first line here and it might be better if you just removed it altogether.
Haha a cat yep the cat's smart though, also wouldn't be cool if you could one day find out that cat's aren't actually that color blind I mean I don't know if they are or aren't just a random thing I thought of XD
to be honest if your a cat then i wouldn't be surprised you missed because you have better things to focus on.
Overall this was a very interesting poem and I liked reading it and I'm sure with a little bit of improvement it will be fabulous, also i love the cat in it the superior cat that knows it's smarter then everything.
anyway that's it from me
hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight
See Ya
MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:
Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret
In this poem, I really liked your use of asking questions. I find that makes the poem a lot more engaging. I had a little bit of a hard time following along at some parts, but I did enjoy reading your unique style of poetry and I love the metaphors that you use to express a variety of experiences and emotions. I enjoyed the formatting you used- sentences followed by a metaphor and then a question. Your voice is pretty consistent throughout the entire poem and I can tell that you worked really hard on this, so awesome work, friend
I also did like this quote:
The example of the bulls eye is great. My interpretation of this is that there is someone involved with the writer who may not be happy or compassionate towards them with their own accomplishments. To me this really touches on success and selfishness. I love the clash between the two of those.
Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement
I think this should be you're instead of your
and I think you might be missing a word in this sentence, or maybe I am not reading it properly!
It seems like there should be a word between be and than.
Overall, I can tell that you have a lot that you want to say ion poetry. I love your unique style and enjoyed reading this greatly. I encourage you to maybe speak the lines out loud so you can see how it sounds when others will be reading it, just to help with the flow and rhythm. But overall- keep writing, awesome job!
Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises
As I mentioned earlier, I loved your ability to incorporate different poetic elements. Specifically asking questions to engage readers. I love how you end the poem with this question:
Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts
Awesome poem! Hope you have a fantastic day!
Your friend,
Ellie Mae
I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!