The sun casts down onto your face,
it lights up your smile, hair, eyes
Radiating everywhere
Illuminating the darkest parts of me
You enter my life
Stir up a storm
then leave gracefully.
I stare at you as you walk away,
with such glamour and splendor.
You fade into the night as the last embers of day.
You make everything burn,
You make everything crumble,
You make everything turn to smithereens.
All I can do is stare and watch.
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141,381 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
This is really really good! I love the way "you" is portrayed - so mysterious that I don't know if they're personified or this is a letter to someone. I love the descriptions, the physical and mental representations of your emotions. Gives me vibes of a letter that will never be sent. Love it <3
Hello gaojiyingwenwangmin!
I'm still just learning to write reviews so I hope this one is't awkward.
Ok so, first off, I'de like to appreciate the brief and straight-to-the-point nature of your poem. It kind of highlights a brief meeting (If I get it well) the poem seems to talk about.
I quite admire your word choice; mixing words like "sun", "radiating" and "illumiate" highlights the positive influence of the subject (other person) on the narrator _but at the same time, lines like "Stir up a storm", "You make everything burn," and "You make everything turn to smithereens." highlight the same person's negative impacts. I find this captivating because alot of people are this way. They influence lives in both ways.
The poem's brief nature is great but it also makes the poem a little ambiguous as we the readers (maybe only me) can't seem to understand what's really going on here and are left guessing to ourselves.
Great piece of work here though. I had a great time reading it!
Really good poem. At first I thought it was a love poem, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that its not. (If I'm wrong please correct me.)
I like how although this person holds the demeanour of someone gracefully and elegant, they cause ultimate destruction in the narrator's life which I find to be a juxtaposing element.
"All I can do is stare and watch"
This tells me that the narrator feels helpless, as everything in their life falls apart due to the workings of this person as all they can do is watch everything be destroyed.
Amazing work.