I will tell you of the time when I first seen death as a real thing I guess. I was young and well we know we will die soon but I never seen anyone die. That was until I went to my great great Granma funeral. I guess it was then I started seeing death as a real thing. I was young and before this I just thought of it as a fact. A fact that did not matter because it won’t happen but that was until then I realize that life is short I mean we only live 100 hundred years and those people are old. Much can happen but I don’t want to die in a century and the fact that my great great Granma who died at 98 it put a fear in me. I showed me how series death really is and that I should make something of what I have. The life I am living right now.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
ok for one thing i did not try to make it perfect i just did it for 5 min in class so i can improve it and write an essay of it so no need to review for i know of all the mistakes like i said it is only a prewrite
hey reborn! phangirl here to review your work!
the concept of this work is good, i would say good enough to read and then review... but oh boy have you made mistakes? i mean so many pft...dude you should pay more attention on your grammar!
Spoiler
now see the editied version...what it should have been...
I will tell you of the time when I first saw death as a real thing I guess. I was young and well we know we will die soon but I had never seen anyone die. That was until I went to my great great Granma's funeral. I guess it was then that I started seeing death as a real thing. I was young and before that I just thought of it as a fact. A fact that did not matter because it won’t happen. and it was only then that I realized that life is short, I mean we only live for hundred years and those people are old. Much can happen but I don’t want to die in a century and the fact that my great great Granma died at 98, put a fear in me. It showed me how series death really is and that I should make something of what I have. The life I am living right now.
hoping for the best...
~phangirldivergent46
The message is relatable; it shows the reality about death. I have the feeling to correct a few things though.
First, the title should have the first and its important words' first letter capitalized.
Another thing is,
"I will tell you of the time when I first seen death as a real thing I guess" You should've put a comma between 'thing' and 'I guess'.
I've also noticed some of the words' spelling. "Granma" is spelled as "Grandma" and you should use the word "serious" instead of "series", anyhow, keep on writing and you'll improve.
Where are you from..? Your grammar is something to worry about. Please note that I'm not trying to discourage you from the writing. Anyway,you have a serious idea here about death. Good luck !!