We all take happiness for granted.

Chapter 1

I lie in my bed, gazing out the window as all the school kids pour into the playground, laughing and giggling, skipping and linking arms. Why did they have to put me in the bed right next to the playground.

Ever since the accident all my life has been lying in this bed looking out, wondering. I don't even remember what it was like. Half the kids stare at me, point at me. These windows aren't tinted (unfortunately) they never say hi or even consider waving, no way. I'm cancer freak. Nobody wants to know me. I'm a burden.

The nurse walks in, and sets a plate of toast down beside my bed, she goes to walk away , but hesitates. She turns around "sweetie." She pauses and stares at me, I tilt my head as too say "what! I don't need you're fake pity" she's the worst of the lot, she thinks she knows, but all that she knows is how too bring me toast with one slice with honey and the other with jam! "Is there anything that you need?" "No, I'm fine. Thank you." I say as I squint my eyes too read her nametag "Nancy" what kind of name is that? She walks out the door.

Chapter 2

The next morning, I wake up from an extraordinarily deep sleep, I peer through a gap in the curtain, that separates my room, and the room next door. There is a boy. He is asleep, I think that he looks around my age, and I begin to wonder why he might be here. Was he in an accident? Or does he have a disease? If so, is it serious? He has dark hair and thick, dark eyebrows with soft lips and a big build. He doesn't look sick, or hurt for that matter.

Just as I am about to go and pick up one of the magazines on a table a few feet away from my bed, I notice that there is a bird, perched on one of the shower curtains in the bathroom across the hall, I press my alert button. Almost the instant I touch it three nurses come flying into the room, "What! Are you okay?!" "What's wrong?" "Is everything alright!" I simply raise my arm and point at the bird. It twitches it's head slightly and sees us looking at it.

 It leaps off the shower rim and flutters off down the hallway, the nurses crankily walk off down the hallway. I often get into trouble for pressing my button for things that "aren't urgent" according to Helen it worries people, and people are already worried enough about me. Where am I going to go when, and more importantly IF I ever get better. Since Mum died from the dugs, and Dad took off too God knows where. Helen says that even if I knew who my Dad was, I wouldn't like him anyway. From what I know about him, I hate him. Who just ditches his 3 week old daughter and drug addict girlfriend? He must be some kind of idiot. But Never jump to conclusions, everything happens for a reason. But the only thing that hurts me, is that I'll never know why. Why he left. Why he doesn't want me. Why nobody does.

Chapter 3

So I figured that nobody wants to read depressing stuff about depressed kids that you can't help. So, on a brighter note, this morning has been my favourite morning all year, and here's why:

I woke up from a pretty darn good sleep, I hobbled over to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. As I let the warm water trickle down my body and hit the ground I had a thought, why am I so upset? Why do I hate myself so much? And most importantly why do I hate life so much? It hit me, I hate my parents and I hate my circumstances.

 I decided who is going to let unfortunate mishaps in their life define them? In fact my life isn't even that bad, I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and people that care about me more than I give them credit for. So, what do you do when you have a pretty bad life and you want change? You don't sit around and wait for it. You stand up and you say "I'm finished, finished with the old ways and the old me!"

I want to get better, and I want too meet a person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to dance in the rain, and spread out on warm luscious grass whilst reading my absolute favourite book (yet too be decided). I want to cuddle up on the couch with my best friends and watch our favourite movies, I want to have children (preferably twins) that I can dress up in matching overalls, to send them of to their first day of pre-school together. I want to have a life that I love, and that I wouldn't give up for anything in the world. So I made a plan:

-Everybody knows that exercise is healthy so I am going to do a push up a day for a week & slowly increase that if at all possible.

-I am going to be an absolute pleasure to the nurses.

-I am going to try and make friends with boy next door.

-I am going too keep a positive mindset no matter what.

-I am going to find things to occupy myself (i.e. video diaries, scrapbooking, stamp collecting etc.)

-And most importantly I am going to do what ever I can to get better.

Chapter 4

What happened next can only be described by 'fate'.

I was on  my mac browsing the web, and the boy got up to go to the bathroom. He had to walk past my room to get to the bathroom, our eyes met. He smiled. HE smiled. HE SMILED. HE SMILED AT ME. Now I don't know if this is an over reaction or what, but I read in one of the 'girly' magazines that that means that he likes me. I think I'm in love. And I don't even know his name...