Just like everyone else.

Hai :3

Such a necessary poem!! There’s something so powerful about how direct the language is here. It doesn’t try to hide behind metaphor at first; it speaks plainly, almost like testimony, and that makes the emotion feel immediate... I really love how the poem keeps returning to humanity as its central argument. Like, the speaker isn’t asking for pity because they shouldn't need pity; they’re asking to be seen as a person. That simplicity makes the poem hit harder!! It's a painful thing to have to read, but I understand its need in society right now!!

They say America is the land of freedom,
But is that really true?
How could America be free when
They deport the innocent people?

I love this opening because it immediately challenges a phrase that people hear all the time without questioning it. “Land of freedom” is such a familiar idea, but then you interrupt it with doubt, and that doubt becomes the emotional engine of the poem ~~ Why can we trust what's been told to us when the actions of others don't mirror their words? It feels almost like the speaker is looking directly at the reader and asking them to sit with the contradiction.

I like how “innocent people” pushes back against the dehumanizing language that comes later, too. You’re already setting up this contrast between how people are talked about and who they actually are. That’s such an important tension!! It's hard to see past what's on the news/around social media, but it's incredibly important to recognize the dehumanity of what's happening.

My family are real people
People with feelings
Not objects to be discriminated
And told to go home.

!!!! THIS

The repetition of “people” works really well here because it insists on personhood. It’s almost painfully simple, but in a good way, because the whole point is that this should not need to be explained... Families should not have to prove they are real, just as people should not have to prove they have feelings. That sadness is very present here, and I think that’s what makes the stanza so effective. It's one thing to read about this situation from the outside, like seeing stories through outside mediums, but the rawness of this poem really makes me ruminate on what I've seen and heard.

^^^ One thing: “My family are real people” could maybe become “My family is made of real people” or “My family members are real people,” just so the grammar feels smoother. The feeling is already very clear, though!!

I like to watch the sunset
Which turns the sky a colorful ombré
From blue to red.

This image is so soft compared to the earlier lines, and I think that contrast is beautiful!! The sunset gives the poem a moment of breath. It shows that even in a cruel world, the speaker still notices beauty, despite the cruelty they've experienced. That makes the speaker feel fully alive, not just defined by suffering. I also love the garden imagery right after this!! The flowers blooming in spring give the poem a sense of gentleness and renewal, especially considering how they must rebuild/renew themselves despite trauma.

^^^ Small note: I wonder if you could connect the sunset and flowers even more deeply to the speaker’s identity or comfort. Right now, they are lovely images, but they could become even stronger if they revealed something more personal!! For example, why does the sunset comfort the speaker? Does the garden remind them of family, home, safety, or hope? Food for thought!!

The world is cruel, so I won’t be.

LOVE this line. It’s probably my favorite in the whole poem!! It has such quiet strength. It doesn’t deny pain, but it refuses to let cruelty become contagious. That is such a mature and powerful emotional ending to move toward.

Just like everyone else,
I am a human.
Not an ‘illegal alien.’

This ending is so strong and clear!! I love that you end by rejecting the label directly. The quotation marks around “illegal alien” make it feel like the phrase belongs to someone else, not the speaker. It’s a word imposed on them, and the poem pushes it away ~~ That final correction from label to human is simple, but it lands. I think it leaves readers like myself thinking a lot about how they've approached this topic in the past, like whether or not they've grown in their mindset. I think most people should read confrontational poetry like this to understand the struggles of others.

Overall, this is such an important poem!! I really admire how it balances protest with softness. It speaks about injustice, but it also makes room for sunsets, flowers, school, family, and breath. That’s what makes it powerful: it doesn’t just say “this is wrong,” it shows us the human life underneath the label that others tend to ignore/forget. Great job!! <3

- Payton