Published September 22, 2009
Content removed sorry.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,418 Literary Works • 674,397 Reviews
Hey, I'm Gen, and it will be my pleasure reviewing your story today.
OK, so this is a good story. I like it, but I think describing the 'transformers' as metal is a bit odd, you should give them a name. Not a personal name but one like human or rabbit. I'm wondering what the argument at the beginning of the story is about, and think it would be cool if you expanded on that. Other than that it's a good story, but I feel more should lead up to her first sighting of the 'metal'. smt003