Published September 22, 2009
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141,428 Literary Works • 674,409 Reviews
Hey, I'm Gen, and it will be my pleasure reviewing your story today.
OK, so this is a good story. I like it, but I think describing the 'transformers' as metal is a bit odd, you should give them a name. Not a personal name but one like human or rabbit. I'm wondering what the argument at the beginning of the story is about, and think it would be cool if you expanded on that. Other than that it's a good story, but I feel more should lead up to her first sighting of the 'metal'. smt003