Published January 8, 2008
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140,239 Literary Works • 673,051 Reviews
this was a magnificent poem, i really feel for you my friend. my only suggestion is to remove "from the sense that" to perhaps make the flow sound better. read it to yourself out lout a couple of times, just to see if you agree. keep up the good work
thank you both!
yes i am a girl and it is written from my point of view when my mother died ..
so both are very good suggestions .. and ill see what it would sound like from a boys point of vieww.
This poem is very powerful.
I loved it.
I felt for the person.
I get a vibe that it's a girl though.
So if you want to be more clear if it's a boy.
Thats totally just a suggestion, i like the vagueness too.
It was fantastic.
wow i'm pretty sure i know what this poem was about and it was well written
just one thing i saw
both too much but never not enough
you can remove the not before enough