Published July 1, 2011
So, I don't know where this belongs. Call it a whisper of my mind. Call it a mess. Call it a thought. Call it chaos. In any case I would love to know what you guys think of it.
To change my future
and a dream to see,
only you do hold the key.
Give to me your lock
and chain.
The sound of trembling stones
and breaking bonds,
pieces shattered lay.
A light and hope,
whispered prayer
an image now to behold.
Beauty shines through
the iris of my heart
as only inspiration can.
Color floods out
upon a cold grey world
as now the sound
of freedom rings.
You look at me
and smile.
A terrifying shiver
races through my bones.
Oh, but to see once more
the hope
that quiet sunrise gives.
Now only darkness lay
in pool of emotions raw.
The written word to find,
a dangerous play.
Beware,
the quiet shores of thought
as waves of writing flow
from the depths of hearts desire.
Feel free to be harsh... I can't take offense at honest appraisals.
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138,198 Literary Works • 672,081 Reviews
This is rather different and gives me a strange impression. It reminds me somewhat of war. Don't ask me how, but it does. It's dark and then has that little bit of light in it. I like the descriptions and the minimalistic style that makes you think. Thank you for writing this! I really enjoyed it.
Wow, this is good! It's mysterious and dark and... basically what the other reviewer said.
Anyways, it's awesome! Sorry, but I have no nitpicks. I'm a terrible review, but I don't think this needs any changes.
Well, I just thought of one. Maybe make it have more rhythm. That's all I can think of! Great job.
This...is fantastic. I could read it over and over again. It's almost dark and despairing, but there's a tinge of hope as well. Really, really good. This would make any New York Times bestselling author proud.