Cover art for Sincerely, Yours- Chapter One: Through the Business Lane

Sincerely, Yours- Chapter One: Through the Business Lane

by foxmaster

Published September 21, 2023

12+ Language

In Sincerely, Yours

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Chapter One: Through the Business Lane 

William

Ding, Ding, ding, DING!

I was making an omelet, and I almost had the eggs flip out of the pan when I jumped.

My ringtone had caught me by surprise.  At first, I thought that it had been Carly- we were supposed to go on a date last weekend, but she'd canceled it at the last minute. I knew that she wasn't interested, but I hoped that maybe she'd changed her mind.

I walked towards my phone hopefully, and was extremely disappointed when I found out that it was someone else.

It was the business Your Healthy Home. I'd lost my job a few months ago, and although I missed it, I'd screwed up, rather badly, and it wasn't like I could just come back. I had to unfortunately go through Indeed before I'd found what seemed like the perfect job.  I had added my job application form a month ago, and they hadn't replied-until now.

"Hello?" I asked, answering the phone.

"Oh, hello!" said a calm, cool woman's voice. "Is this William Cooper?"

"Yes," I said, slightly nervous. 

"Oh, we happened to notice your application form for this, and we were interested. We think you'd be a perfect fit for this job, seeing all your experience."

"Thanks," I said, feeling a lot better now. It looked like I was getting the job after all.

"We'd like to see you at our office downtown on Sunday, sir.  Exactly at noon. Be late and the offer's off. Enjoy your day."

"You too!" I said, and excitedly hung up the phone. Finally, I was going to get a job!

Sunday

I quickly got dressed in my best suit, and raced out the door hurriedly. It was only ten o'clock, but I lived out in the country, on a farm. I had to drive at least two hours to get to the office. It was going to be hard, but it was worth it. From what I could tell, the pay was great, and the work hours weren't bad. 

I got into the car, began to drive. After about half an hour, however, I noticed that my gas was running low. I quickly pulled into the nearest gas station, and got out of the car.

I'd just started fueling when, suddenly, a random car drove past and someone threw out a coffee cup. It was full, and the hot coffee splashed all over my crisp suit, leaving a huge spill all over it.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled in anger. It'd taken me half an hour to get dressed in the best clothes I had, and now they were ruined. 

"What the hell am I going to do now?!" I asked, pissed off. It was clear that I couldn't go to the interview with that stain, so I was going to have to act fast.

After finally fueling up, I raced into the gas station and grabbed a huge handful of paper towels, and attempted to dry myself off. It didn't work.

I sighed heavily and walked back to the car, before continuing my drive. I was feeling a bit more iffy about the interview. What if I didn't get the job?

An hour later

I finally got to the office. It was ten to five. I'd made it just barely in time- But that coffee cup hadn't helped one bit.

I quickly rushed into the office, and the woman at the front desk stared at me.

"Sir, you are in no condition to work." She said.

"I'm here for an interview." I said.

"You're going to be late." she said.

"I'm here for an important interview. I don't care about your opinions," I said.

The woman sighed, before saying: "Fourth floor."

I rushed into the elevator, right before it closed. I was frazzled right then- I'd gotten coffee spilled on me, and now I was going to be late.

Two other people, a man and a woman stared at me. She was holding a cup of steaming hot coffee in her hand. Right then I happened to stumble, and she spilled the coffee on my suit.

I cussed. Suddenly, a soft ding echoed throughout the elevator, and I looked out onto the fourth floor.

I raced into the meeting room, trying to mop the coffee off with my hand the entire time. And then-finally, I made it!

A ton of fancy-looking employees were staring at me, looking weirded out.

"What is this? Some kind of joke?" asked a woman. She glared at me.

"No, no- someone spilled coffee on me, and it delayed my trip." I said. Everyone raised their eyebrows skeptically.

"Are you... sure?" asked a man.

"Please, just give me a chance- you have no idea what this means to me!" I yelled. "This means literally everything- if you don't give me that job, I'll go broke-please!"

Everyone looked at each other.

"We'll talk about it." said the woman. 

The business people leaned over to converse softly, and after at least five minutes, the woman said, "Okay. You get another chance."

I almost cheered, and after a long talk about procedures and expectations, I left the office happily. I finally got my dream job.

Finally.

A year later

I was on a video call with the rest of the office. We were all chatting happily, talking about the job. Finally, Laura (the boss) grew serious.

"William," she said, "It's been a while that you've been working here, and we've made a decision to let you  go on your first business trip to Berlin, Germany. "

She began talking about what I was supposed to do. I smiled the entire time through. This job had helped me in way unimaginable- and the business trip was going to do even more.

This buisness trip was going to help me find the love of my life.

Comments & reviews · 3
creeperfeverdreams wrote a review Review · Sep 24, 2023

William is going to Germany? Exciting! I wonder who this person that will bring romance to William’s life will be. He’s lucky that he got the job, now he has to keep it and manage his personal life.

I have enjoyed reading this chapter and I will be sure to check out the next one when it comes out.

I wish you a fantastic and fabulous day and night. Goodbye for now. :>

Thanks for the review!

User avatar
Ventomology
Review
Ventomology wrote a review Review · Sep 24, 2023

Hey there!! I love seeing the office setting in books- it might have been popularized in TV by The Office, but I think western writers overlook it in favor of really glamorous workplaces, so this is exciting!

So. I don't typically talk plot right away, but I think in this case it may be useful. You're probably not going to do anything with this advice until you get into revisions, but I would highly recommend just... starting at the transfer.

Why do I say this? Honestly, because the misfortunes William goes through in this chapter really don't seem to mean much, especially not in a romantic plot. I think they are a great backstory--but it's a backstory that I think might be more interesting and more compelling if revealed as we the reader get to know William during his actual romance.

OR: if you did mean for one of the misfortunes William encounters in this chapter to be directly related to the coming romance, then it would be worth it to add some indicators. Maybe one of the people he meets makes a momentary impression later. Maybe there's something important about the job William does (which, I'll be honest, needs to be fleshed out; people spend a massive portion of their lives at work, and whether it's a job of passion or not, that has an impact) that we could linger on.

By the way... is this period? Indeed the website has been around long enough that it could... I just was thinking as I read this that the way William acts does not at all reflect the modern solutions we have in cases of emergency. If someone spilled coffee on me before an in-person interview, I'd call ahead to reschedule! Interviews almost always have a point of contact you can reach out to if something happens.

Otherwise, the transfer is an exciting development, and a great way to open a new chapter. I'm excited to see how you handle Germany and the upcoming romance.

Hope this helps,
-Vento

Thanks for the review! And yes, the misfortunes end up helping William fall in love.

LuminescentAnt wrote a review Review · Sep 21, 2023

Hey foxmaster! I'm going to review this chapter using the YWS S'more Method today!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This chapter is about a guy named William, who just got a job offer, and is going for an interview that he desperately needs. But along the way, people spill coffee on him twice, so when he enters the interview room, he looks like a mess. But thankfully, they still give him the job. After working here for a year, he gets to go on a business trip, where he hopes to fall in love with someone.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
At the part where he mentions that he was finally getting a job, you could put more background information. What happened to his old job? Why couldn't he find one? Or maybe you could just put more description of how he felt that he was getting his dream job.

Another thing: It seems kind of coincidental that something got spilled on him twice in one day, and that both times they were coffee. Maybe you can vary it a little, like he got mud and then coffee on him, or he tripped and then some spilled coffee on him. Just a suggestion, though!

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I liked how you described the chapter overall, and how you started with an onomatopoeia. This chapter made me kind of worried, which is good, because it keeps the readers hooked. I really wanted to know if he made it in time.

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, I enjoyed reading this chapter. I hope you will continue this series!
Happy Writing!
Image

thanks for the review!



Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away.
— Carl Sandburg