THE SEARCH
I want to know
the things that are truly mine.
Not the things everyone wants.
Not to be understood.
Not to be loved.
Not to be liked.
Everybody wants those things.
I want to know
what is different.
I want to know
the unusual ways I think.
I want to know
what is original about me.
What is rare.
What is unsettling.
What is strange.
I want the truth.
Maybe I do not deserve it.
Maybe nobody deserves
to know themselves completely.
Maybe most people
never take on that privilege.
But I want it.
I have always wanted it.
I am willing to look
where other people will not.
And still,
I cannot find it.
I cannot discover
the thing.
The thing I would love.
The thing I would devote myself to.
The thing that would never bore me.
I get bored of everything.
People.
Shows.
Ideas.
Even myself.
The moment I feel
there is nothing left to uncover,
something inside me
begins to drift away.
Yet that is not completely true.
I love familiar things.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love the people I choose.
So why does everything else
lose its color?
Why do I feel
there is always another door
hidden behind the wall?
I keep searching for questions
nobody has ever asked.
Questions so specific
they belong to only one person.
Me.
But every answer I find
feels human.
And I do not want human.
I want the truth.
I have thoughts I hate.
Thoughts that make me feel
like a hypocrite.
I like to think I am kind.
Thoughtful.
Attentive.
Then a thought arrives
that proves I am capable
of being something else.
Something selfish.
Something ugly.
Not monstrous.
Just human.
And somehow
that terrifies me more.
Because what if there is nothing wrong?
What if there is nothing special?
What if the thing I have spent years searching for
does not exist?
Or worse
what if it does?
I spend so much time
trying to discover
what is different about me
that I no longer know
what is true.
I tell myself
I am self-aware.
Then I am overcome
by feelings I cannot name.
Feelings that are not in any dictionary.
Feelings that arrive
without explanation
and leave without one.
I sit with them.
Silent.
Studying them.
Studying myself.
Trying to find the thing.
The hidden room.
The final answer.
The truth.
And every morning
I wake up
to the same realization:
Nobody knows anything.
Not really.
Not me.
Not them.
Not even the people
who insist they do.
And maybe that is the thing
I cannot accept.
That there may never be
a final answer.
Only the search.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,836 Literary Works • 675,939 Reviews
This is amazing. It stuck out to me and was super relatable. I felt all the emotions intended to be expressed in this poem. Outstanding work!
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the jinxed S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - The speaker does not know who they are and wants to know, but is afraid of what they will find. Or more so, what they will not find.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, you may.
Chocolate Bar - I like that in this poem, the person is scared of not being able to find out the truth about themselves. Like it’s not about being a bad person or doing terrible things, just not knowing yourself, because so many of our artwork says that we must find the big truth about ourselves but perhaps we won’t be able to. There’s nothing and that’s unsettling.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a lovely poem about humanity and not humanity. I have enjoyed reading this and I will think of reading your other works. Now…
I wish you a dazzling day/night! ^v^
I like how simple yet full of emotions this is. Specially this part
It shows the two sides of humanity and how our perception of ourselves differ from others.
I noticed that you liked repetitions too like "I want to know", "Not to be", "What is", and "I love". That's a great technique but I think that it could be more powerful when used in moderation.
Also there are some parts where an em dash or a line break would improve the atmosphere or create tension like
As
And
It creates some sort of tension before the reveal.
Last one, it would be nice if you could group paragraphs or lines (e.g. by 4, 5, 6 lines) for a better read and overall structure.
All in all, it's a good read and I'm looking forward to your future works! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡