I say I don't want to talk about this It's pointless Yes, please Let's dredge up all my worst memories and thoughts Then send me home alone That sounds like fun Screw this I felt better when I was internalizing Ripping through my skin doesn't feel as bad as rifling through my mind Get your gloved hands out of my head I'm not an experiment But maybe I am just remnants of a broken girl And they're piecing me back together Like Frankenstein's monster
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Hello Tuesday for a review.
I like to begin that this poem could relate to people who have depression in their lives. The thought of the person saying that they aren't an experiment and how they try to get away from the people who use her as a experiment. Also like how you used Frankenstein's monster as a simile to how people are trying to help you.
Although this seems like a free verse poem, I would suggest some punctuation throughout this poem such as commas and periods. Also add some more similes or something to this, to add more of a feel for the poem.
Overall, I think this a well-written poem and could relate once again to people who had depression. My friend has depression for the longest time and I had helped her (somewhat) but this poem reminds of me of my friend. Well done.
Farewell,
Tuesday
Well, part of it made me wanted to be in solitude place for a moment.
You made a conflicted poem. You could add somewhat a word that could describe the whole poem. I love this poem. Maybe adding some extraordinary metaphor for some 'feeling' in it.
Again, love the poem. I hope you can make some other thing like this. Looking forward for it. Thank you. I hope this helped.
Thank you!
If the overall feel you want to give the reader is understanding the thoughts and feelings of someone with a depression like sickness, then this goes above and beyond. For brief moments I felt what the narrator felt and not a lot of authors on here can accomplish that, usually not even me! I have heard a lot of these kind of stories yet you have originality in "Frankenstein's monster" and other elements. Yet understanding this is a free-verse poem, it doesn't have much to offer as much as Rhythm, Rhyme, and Punctuation leaving the reader somewhat bored and under-whelmed when reading. I get the sense you mainly wanted to get these feelings, either derived from you or some other source, out into the open to either release it/spread awareness, may it please you that you have done both. So in conclusion, it was well done in the sense of theme, tone, and even originality, yet falls short of having good poetic elements, giving the reader a sense of feel they could get reading a short story with frequent breaks. But overall I hope to see more of your works on here as you really have the power to indulge the reader in your own way, Great Job!
Thanks for the review. I'm so glad that you were able to feel something from this! I looked back over the poem and realized that you're right - it is pretty lacking in the kind of poetic elements I usually try to include. It was written in the heat of the moment, so getting the feeling through was most important to me. I'll definitely take your advice into consideration though, and thank you for the helpful feedback!
This is painful to me. This girl is hurting herself. She would rather forget. Oh my goodness. This hurts so much.
Thank you for reading. I'm sorry you found it so painful.
It's okay, floatingvoice. Really