Panka

by fishface

Published March 3, 2007

1,2,3,4,5
That is how i count quickly
A,B,C,D,E
That is how i say letters
A quick simple mode to learn

Comments & reviews · 7
User avatar
Blift
Review
Blift wrote a review Review · Nov 20, 2012

I really like this poem .i hope you come back to YWS because you're poems were extremely underrated. Well, bye my friend, I don't expect you to come back anytime soon.

To other commentors, leav efishface alone. i love all of his poems, it's so great, and this is actually a good method to learn the alphabet and abcs especially if you're in primary school.

chocolatechipmuffin wrote a review Review · Mar 7, 2007

Honestly, I couldn't even see that as a children's song.
Poetry is a form of expressing your emotions. This...poem...was dead. Completely void of emotion. Dull. Painful. No feeling.
It didn't rhyme, it didn't have a rhythm. That's fine, freeform poems are great. But even freeform poems have a point. When I finish reading a poem, I should be in a different place emotionally than when I started. You should be making a point, whether it's "Where would we be without learning?" or "I love my boyfriend" or "The world is out to get me." You should be saying something.

If you completely rethink this poem, you could do something cool, maybe remembering learning to read, and how important that skill is to you?

And don't putyourself down. That's our job. Believe in yourself. Listen to advice, but tell yourself that you can create something wonderful, and harsh criticisms are helping you become a stornger writer.

User avatar
Nate
Review
Nate wrote a review Review · Mar 6, 2007

Thanks to you, I can finally count to 5!

But don't ever insult something you wrote. Other people may, and maybe they are right, and maybe they are wrong. But when it comes to something you wrote, always like it. You don't have to call it good or perfect, just notice where you need improvement and learn from whatever mistakes you made.

User avatar
Crysi
Comment
Crysi commented Comment · Mar 3, 2007

...Nice way to insult yourself? Just don't talk like that to other members, all right?

This is more of a learning tool for children than it is an actual poem... I could almost hear it as a children's song, you know?

Random avatar
fishface
Comment
fishface commented Comment · Mar 3, 2007

That is an extremely utter rubbish poem. You are ugly!!!!

User avatar
Via
Review
Via wrote a review Review · Mar 3, 2007

Well, hmm. I have to say that this isn't really poetry. There doesn't really have any rhythm, there is no imagery--it's just lacking any poetic elements at all. My suggestion would be to check out the "Poetry Discussion & Tips" section of the forum and also to read some published poems and try to imitate them so you get an understanding of poetry vs. words.

Good luck!
WM



As a former (and rather excellent) liar herself, Aru knew that, sometimes, speaking the truth felt like wrenching a thorn out of your side. But doing the opposite meant pretending it wasn't there. And that made every single step ache. It was no way to live.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality