Published August 23, 2010
I just found this and I guess I wrote it for my history class when we were talking about immagration. It was an assignment to write a story and or poem about it. Enjoy!
Hush now my child
Listen as the wind sings
The haunting lullaby
Of your history
A woman at the bow
Of a magnificent ship,
The wind blowing from the west
From her new home.
A man working in the fields
To feed himself
His face glistens with sweat
As he listens to the strange language around him.
The woman is put to work
In a factory
All because she cannot understand
What the others say.
Their dreams seem so far away
Their hopes forever gone.
But the moon still shines to remind them
Of how much better it is than the plagued land they left behind.
In the rain as she walks through the street
A man steals her fresh bread
And making her fall
And he sees her.
The man in the fields runs to her,
And helps her stand up,
Their eyes meeting
And their language matching.
Months later they are wed
But they still know
there will be many to feed
In the years to come.
A baby girl is born under a leaky roof
The cries making a smile appear
For the first time in months on their faces,
And for a moment, they forget of hunger and of pain.
Hush now my child
Remember these words
Before we fade away
For this is your history.
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141,409 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
First of all, I like how you don't specify what country the man and woman are from. It makes the poem relatable to all ethnicities. I also like how you made the poem into a lullaby of sorts. As for nitpicks....
"And making her fall
And he sees her."
I think the wording was a little awkward there, mainly on account of the double "and."
"And for a moment, they forget of hunger and of pain."
I think you should take out the of's here. They don't really fit.
A very nice poem on the whole. Good job and keep writing!
I think this is very original, I like it.
The two "from"s here don't flow as well. Maybe a comma after "west".
The last line here seems a little long, though it doesn't sound like it stands out much, actually.
I really like this last stanza and the repetition of the "history" at the end.
Good job, I hope you got a good grade on this!