Young Writers Society

Hello Fire, Wolf here to review, as you have requested.

I am extremely confused on what I just read. So I assume there is cats and birds, but what kind of birds, I have no idea. Also, I'm guessing Kay is a cat as well. You have a nice start, but it feels more like a basic outline.

First off, this is mainly dialogue, which can be alright if balanced out properly. So this is written in first person, and this story should use that more. Show more of how Kay is feeling while he is observing the group. Show more of what Kay is seeing. What do his surroundings look like? What do some of the bird/cats around him look like? Where is he? What do/es his friend/s look like? What are they doing there? What is Kay specifically doing? These are just some questions to keep in mind when thinking about the setting.

Next, I like how you add that tiny speck of religion in there. It adds a unique twist, but I am super confused on how a cat has the same religion as humans. If anything, make him pray in a different way. Maybe you could add some details on how he moves while he's praying, and keep details in mind.

Details, details, details. These are super important in keeping a reader interested and a piece interesting. Remember to show and not tell. Don't expect to be able to do it right away, because even I have problems with this, and a constant reminder to myself it always helpful when writing.

You have a nice start, and if you just add some meat and muscle to this skeleton of a story, I'm sure you'll have something nice! (I hope I didn't sound mean, I promise I am only trying to help you! This was very nice, and I know you can do so much more with it!) Keep Writing,
~Wolfare

Going to work on the revision I started today; thanks, everyone, for your reviews.

If there's anyone on site who's lived in a big city, I'd like to hear from them. I'm a small-town kid and could use some pointers on skyscrapers, gang warfare and the like.

This is really cool and very interesting for an "other" piece. I might categorize this as a short story because it works like flash fiction. Just to say

Anyways, let's get on with the review.

"From up here everything looks smaller- buildings, people. Unimportant." I feel like you shouldn't use "Unimportant." here. You're describing the setting with nouns and then using an adjective. It doesn't work.

"Dawn slinks in like a weasel through the window. One paw manages to land between my ears." This is inconsistent. You say "up here" in the first line but use the word "window." Hmmmm.

"No, but I can guess." She sighs." WHO THOUGH?!? I wish I knew.

Aside from that, this was a really cool piece! I love the characters and the dialogue. Very good job!

Alex out!

BOOM *appears in a dramatic smoke bomb*
Ladcat here to review...

I like the principle and the idea you have here, but it's A) very short, B) The thoughts aren't continuous, and C) the reader is kinda left in the dark. I'm not sure what kind of creature the main character is, I'm not sure what the setting is, and when the dialogue is going on I can't really tell who's speaking. Try to include more description in it, and be more descriptive, and you'll have a great piece here. There were also some grammatical mistakes here, but I'm too lazy to go and pick them out. They're all miniscule anyway.

Good luck, and as always, keep writing!
-@ladcat13