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Young Writers Society


Violence

Shadowsong: Chapter 5- Yes, Master

by Featherstone


Chapter 5: Yes, Master

We left on the morrow at first light for Gorenstead, a small farming town north of Akaron. I traveled the same as I had on the last trip: surrounded, with my second sight gone. This time, however, there were many more than eight paladins. There were seventy-five individuals, each with their mounts. And from what I heard, we were to rendezvous with Hunter reinforcements farther north.

Bericus came as well, riding in the lead with Lyrel. It was made clear that I was to stick close to them- if I caused trouble, no others could stop me. Thus, I found myself circumscribed by paladins with two angels in the lead- a situation I abhorred and despised but could not reverse. Gyer, too, was agitated, constantly on edge and alert. I didn't bother trying to calm him. Not only would it have been futile, but his vigilance could warn me of any danger before it reached us.

Darkness rode under my cloak, silent as a grave. I took after her example. Without my second sight, words meant nothing- nor was there anything to speak of.

I felt a whisper in my mind, a murmuring of stale wind foul with the stench of carrion. He wished to speak, as I was in the midst of the very thing that might detect us. But my mind was sealed, all but impossible to penetrate, so my concern was virtually nonexistent. The only person I had to worry about was Lyrel, but he wouldn't be able to guess what I was doing. Besides, I could disconnect if he started to become aware of my prohibited practice.

"Irom?" Master?

"What is your current situation? I need an update," he inquired in Shadowtongue.

"We are riding north to the town of Gorenstead, my Lord. There are approximately seventy-five paladins, mounted, in addition to the angels Lyrel and Bericus. They rendezvous with the Hunters closer to Gorenstead. I'm not sure of how many, though, sire." I answered in the same language.

"And what will you have to tell them?"

"The number of demonkin and demonkind on the Wastelands that are to march on Gorenstead."

"I shall prepare. Do not disappoint me, Raven."

"Baeniish, Irom." Yes, Master.

And he was gone.

Yes, Master. Those two simple words that I had lived by for seven hundred years. The two words that held my heart, my soul, my loyalty. That had given me power, strength, and fortitude in the times of hardship and difficulty. Yes, my lord, my master, my king, my irom. Give me an order and I shall obey without question. Only with trust in your knowledge and plans of the future do I answer your commands, for I am your servant.

Gyer snorted, his eyes glowing for just a moment as our Master departed. I was pretty sure no one had noticed, but hissed at Gyer anyway. "Yiin ēmé quéryn wliiræ byliir, Gyer." Keep those eyes of yours dark.

Lyrel glanced back at me as he heard me speak. I stared right back at him, completely straight-faced.

"I am being good," I told him. "There is no need to watch me so."

Gyer snorted.

"What have I told you about speaking in Shadowtongue?" Lyrel asked.

"Don't."

"Right. I'm going to repeat that."

"It is idiocy for the light to not know its kin."

"Shadows aren't our kin."

"Two sides of the same coin, two halves of the same whole. It is ludicrous to deny it. Without one, you can't have the other. Simple as that. A Shadewing like myself is solid proof of my point. Even if that weren't true, understanding your enemy is key to defeating it. Just ask the Dog."

"Tasha-"

"Agrona."

"Tasha is a rare exception. You can't get people like her often, but until she came the Hunters were doing fine."

"If the Harbinger hadn't come, the Pack would have been reigning until the demonkind decided they wanted a piece of the fun. The shadows, too, were doing 'fine' until I came along, but the minute I waltzed in we all but razed the dawn. And the only reason we didn't is because you came to save the day, Lyrel."

He didn't have an argument that could counter that.

"We are both living proof that you need to know your enemy to truly destroy it. But destruction, too is futile- it will always return. That is the one law of the world: there must be balance. Do what you seek- annihilate the darkness- and there shall be much fire."

"Isn't she supposed to talk normally when she doesn't have second sight?" Bericus asked.

"I talk more normally," I answered. "And besides, it just keeps me from seeing more, not pointing out what I already know. Which is don't mess with balance. Play with fire-"

"You might get burned. Yes, we know," Bericus told me.

"I was actually going say you will get burned."

"So that which wants to completely demolish the light preaches balance? What kind of twisted logic is that?"

"No, Cornix wants to destroy the light. I just follow his orders. He knows my opinion, but he is in charge, not I."

"Though you openly said you could probably take the Corax from him and become Arcdemon." Corax, the Sword of Darkness. Whoever possessed it was the Arcdemon- in this case, Cornix. If another demon took it, they were Arcdemon. It wasn't very formal or ritualistic. Who had it was king- it was that simple.

"But here is the thing: I don't want to. Sure, I'm probably smart enough to figure out a way to usurp his throne, but I'm not going to because I don't want it." I pointed out.

Bericus shook his head. "You want power, but you don't want to be queen. I don't get it."

"Of course you don't."

"What do you mean, 'of course'?"

"If I were going to explain that I already would have, now wouldn't I?"

"If she is going to go off an a tangent she usually does so prior to you asking," Lyrel told Bericus. "Otherwise, there is a 90% chance she isn't going to."

"Hmph," Bericus grunted.

We lapsed into silence after that, and stayed that way for the rest of the day.

The small army set up camp on the side of the Yellow Road as night fell. I removed my eyepatch as the shadows concealed us, glad to have my sight once more. 

I surveyed the stars, wondering what was to come. I may have been a seer, but I only saw potential outcomes or paths, not which one would be taken. Would the shadows prevail or would light defeat us? Would it be a draw? If not, what would happen as a result of the unbalance?

I wandered, never straying too far from camp. I had a feeling that Lyrel had installed a fail-safe that wouldn't let me get very far. Darkness flew, stretching her wings after the bumpy ride. I watched her soar and let my heart glide with her. But even that may not last, and too soon she returned to the earth once more.

I pondered and thought for many hours more. About the past, the future, the present. Lies and truth. Light and darkness. The different paths I could take in the web of life, of the worlds. What lay ahead in the labyrinth.

But soon my mind wandered from myself and the world to my Master's wish, as it always had. Betray Lyrel. Yes, but how? Two words, so simple, and yet...so complicated in practice. I couldn't take him directly, not until I had demons to amplify my power so I could get rid of that bracelet. If I was subtle, though, used his men to destroy him...

Yes. Yes. That was it. Use his men to kill him. It takes an enemy to defeat one, doesn't it?

I smiled coldly. I was back, and though my magic was bound, my mind was not. Keeping to the shadows, I slunk back to camp, and awaited my target.

Their minds had to be weak, their hearts full of pain and darkness of the past. Agrona would have been ideal, but, alas, her mind might have been to strong. I sat there, concealed by shadows, hiding in wait like a cat stalking her prey.

Many hours I waited, watching. Finally, after an eternity, my target came for his turn at sentry duty.

I slipped out of hiding, silently slinking up behind him with all the cunning and silence of a serpent. He sat down on a rock, oblivious to my presence. Striking with lightning speed, I clasped my hand around his mouth so he could not scream as I pushed him to the earth.

He looked at me, his eyes wide with fear. Terror and eye contact- all I needed. I slipped into his mind, searching it for anything, everything, that he wished to forget.

Demons ran rampant around the burning town, carnage surrounding me. Screams echoed across the village- cries of agony and horror. Fear ate at my heart: fear for myself, my family, my friends, my home.

A surprised wail pierced the cacophony of human screams and the battlecries of someone else could be heard. I ran toward it- protection, help, light in the darkness! I dodged through the buildings. The glint of a blade caught my eye. It must have been the paladins! I tore full-speed ahead, approaching the light, oblivious to anything else. I fell to the earth, something on top of me.

I yelled in terror, struggling as the demon's claw traced my chest, stopping right above my swiftly-pumping heart. Slowly it dug its talon into my chest. I screamed.

White wings blocked my view of the demon as a golden-armoured man came to my aid. He sliced at the creature and it fell back, yowling in anger. It attacked him on wings of night- and with a single movement of his sword, the man felled the beast.

Lyrel turned and gave me a hand up. "Run," he told me. "Run down this road and you will find more of my men. They will protect you."

Silently I nodded, then fled.

"But he didn't save your family," I whispered. "Your friends, your town- all dead. If he'd brought more men, if he'd come sooner, then maybe it wouldn't have happened. His vigilance failed you and the demons caught him by surprise. If they hadn't, Lyrel would have been there to protect you, all of you, before they came."

His eyes turned dark for a moment as my thrall took hold, pooling from his irises and across the whites. Then, ever so slowly, it faded, leaving his eyes the same deep hazel.

Step one: Start corrupting Lyrel's men. Check.

Now to put a few more under my thrall and wait for some demons to come. When they were in the middle of battle and half the paladins started attacking their own, the lovely havoc that would ensue...

Smiling wolfishly, I pulled the man back to his feet. "Continue about your duties," I told him. "Speak not of this." And I disappeared into the shadows.

By the time we rendezvoused with the Hunters four days later, I'd corrupted ten men. I was running out of time- I needed to move more quickly.

The Harbinger of Death met us with thirty men, leaving Bericus with a total of one-hundred-and-one men to work with. Minus ten, I thought with an inward smile.

By the time we reached Gorenstead, I'd put twenty Hunters and thirty-two paladins under my thrall- around half of the total numbers. Bericus, Lyrel, Agrona, and their men would soon be sorry that they had ever let me loose on the world.

Gorenstead consisted about thirty hovels and the same amount of fields for livestock and crops. Stray dogs ran about the streets alongside the pigs and dirty children. It was a perfect place to burn- everything was made of wood or thatch.

The villagers hid when they saw us, afraid of change. Agrona rode in the lead- she was the most familiar with the common people. I got put in the very middle of the army, right next to soldiers that were under my command. How coincidental.

We set up camp circumscribing the farms so that when the demons attacked we would be like a wall between them and their target. Lyrel had water all about the town and told the bravest of the townspeople to use it when the Hellfire was lit. Then all we could do was wait.

"Raven!" Bericus' voice boomed across camp. Leaving Gyer, I answered his summons.

"No need to yell, wælyr-en," I told him.

"We need your information." He stepped aside to let me enter the tent.

"I will hold up my end of the deal." I stepped inside. Agrona and Lyrel were already there.

"How many individuals make up the army Cornix will send at Gorenstead in this realm on this timeline?" Lyrel asked. Evidently he'd put a lot of thought into phrasing the question. I probably could've found a loophole, but I didn't need to.

I took of my eyepatch and closed my eyes, letting myself see everything. Images and sounds ran through my sight, showing past, present, and future; different paths; different realms; and other universes. I immersed myself in that wave of information and searched for the piece I sought. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity but really could not have been very long, I found it. Cornix at the head of a vast army, readying one-hundred of his soldiers to take Gorenstead- overkill for a small village, but not when Lyrel guarded it.

"Irom," I whispered to him as I passed. "It is done. One-hundred-and-five men await you, but fifty-two are under my thrall. I await your command."

"Good," he hissed in our native tongue. "You have served me well. It shall be like shooting fish in a barrel. We will come soon- you will know the time."

"Indeed," I murmured, and was gone.

"One-hundred esqmiil prepare to march," I told Lyrel. Esqmiil was Shadowtongue for all of demonkind and their kin.

"Isn't that overkill for a small town?" Agrona asked.

"Yes," Lyrel told her. "But he knows we are here. And there is no reason not to send more- it feeds his soldiers."

"I don't know if we can fight the Legions of Hell and the Pack at the same time," Agrona said. "We will spread ourselves too thin."

"For now we will deal with this attack. Then we will worry about the greater picture," Bericus told her.

She nodded.

I couldn't wait for the attack that Bericus was 'dealing with.'

The sky darkened....the moon blocked out the sun....the distressed cries of villagers and the commanding barks of paladins ordering them into their homes....the portal opened, a rift in the planes....the Legions marched...the Hunters charged on horseback, slicing into the ranks of Hell....paladins phalanxed...the battle began...I counted down until I gave the order to rebel...5....the scream of a man as a demon ripped out his heart....4....the terror that ran rampant around the town....3....a shadowbeast falling from the sky, arrow in it's chest....2....the Light began to prevail...1.

I gave the order.


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264 Reviews


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Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:54 pm
Megrim wrote a review...



Alrighty, last chapter for now! I don't think I have too much different to add that I haven't already said. As far as critique, I notice mostly the same issues--would love more setting, more character description, trimmed dialogue. I like the events in this chapter quite a bit, especially how she corrupts the men, how they stake out for the battle, and everything associated with that. She's a complex character for sure.

One thing I haven't mentioned yet is that there's quite a bit of modern dialogue and snark. It makes it feel somewhat anachronistic, because on one hand we get fairly low-tech villages and horse-driven transport (though like I said, some more specific descriptions would be lovely), but on the other hand, the dialogue is mostly modern--with occasional formal, flowery speech thrown in when they're talking about something important or demony. It might be good to establish if there's a reason for this (eg something related to the multiverse and timelines?), or otherwise fix the context so the dialogue & setting match a bit better.

Good luck and happy writing!




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Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:36 am
Keumgan wrote a review...



Brilliant. You know what I love about your story? The fact that we are reading from the point of view of the villain. Even then we sometimes get a hint that maybe this villain may switch sides at some point in the story. What's even more exciting is the fact that several times while reading, I caught myself rooting for Raven and hoping her evil plan succeeds. The way you ended this chapter is very powerful, well done. I can't wait to read what comes next! You are a very good writer with quite an impressive imagination!




Featherstone says...


Thank you, Keumgan! That made my day! Just wait till the end...I have the best twists in mind for you readers....(Twists are my forte and my very favorite XD)



Keumgan says...


Yes I can see you're really good at making twists. Now I'm even more excited. Woot!



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Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:39 pm
ChimeraMania wrote a review...



YAY!!!! I'm here and this is better than I expected.
No these are a few things that caught my eye.

Without my second sight, words meant nothing. Nor was there anything to speak of.


These sentences, well words, aren't sentences. I feel like you should make them into a more sentence type form. Plus these two could be put together to make a sentence.

The two words that held my heart, my soul, my loyalty.


When you do stuff like this, I feel, grammar wise, you should put an and before the last my.

I seer I may have been,


*the seer I may have been*
That would probably be a better sentence.

I had demons to amplify my power do be gone of that bracelet.


(do be gone of that bracelet)??
That doesn't really sound right.
*my power to get off that bracelet*

and though I my magic was bound


Just take out I here.

These are all the mistakes that stuck out to me. Although you still need to watch your comma usage. I notice that every chapter tend to have a lot of commas. So watch that.

One thing I did notice about this chapter and the others is that this one is shorter. This isn't a filler chapter and I like that, so make it a bit longer, if you can. I know it took you a while to figure and write this but I feel it's too short.

OHHHHHHH I'm liking where this is going. I am so glad you thought of this idea. I didn't expect it and that makes it all better. I don't know if this is my favorite chapter yet, but it sure is close.

Whelp this is my lovely review, I congratulate you on getting this done. I can't wait to see what the next chapter has to offer.

Good Luck with the next chapter Tottles.





Maybe I should say something quote-worthy, like, I dunno... "You can only be happy if you decide to be happy?"
— Necromancer14