Cowboy Ballad

by fatimachan

Published April 10, 2009

In Poems

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Dreamin’

Bounty hunter since 12 years old

I can’t remember the last time I felt my right hip with out a pistol

The cold hard but of my pistol against the warm side of my palm

Gun slingin’ is all I ever knew

It wont surprise me in the least if I buck out in smoke

In fact, that’s the only way I see myself goin’

My left eye is blind

It only sees the past

Memories

Incidents

Dreams

Nightmares

All twisted up into one single puddle

Between the barrel of a glass eye

I never knew what love was

Till that one god forsaken afternoon

I’d just finished finding my way back far from the saloon

I lay watchin’ the sunset ‘side my horse

The sun cast a silhouette against a figure before me

Long flowing hair blocked my sight

The calico before me was no regular gal

She wore a deep maroon sundress that blew with the wind

Justin’s fit her feet well

In the pit of her hand she held a sharp’s rifle

It pointed strait at me

And it was that single moment in time

Time stood still

A smirk rooted to her face, she said “mighty fine game”.

And that was the beginning of my dream

Comments & reviews · 3
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MeadowLark
Review
MeadowLark wrote a review Review · Apr 16, 2009

Hey there!

I've never heard of this "Cowboy Bebop" before but I read the poem anyways. Not good at critiquing poetry but I noticed one thing:

Till that one god forsaken afternoon


God should be capitilized. I would think. But that's just me and I'm not even sure :?

I really enjoyed reading this though. You did a good job on this poem. I love ballads but you could use some puncuation in there like commas, or periods and semi-colons. You have a few but it could use more ^_^ It would improve.

Happy Writing!

Meadow

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sopher
Review
sopher wrote a review Review · Apr 10, 2009

Gosh, this poem is entertaining!

I love the way you've altered the language to make it so uniquely coyboy, and I think you've really succeeded. Its such an oeiginal idea as well.

I also like the love and lighthearted comedy interwoven here, really makes for a good poem.

Keeep writing!

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holly_jean16 Comment
holly_jean16 commented Comment · Apr 10, 2009

This is really good. It keeps me wondering whats going to happen next. Your description is also very good. This piece just flows.



Have you met a cow or another large animal?
— Liminality