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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
transcript:
Spoiler
my day starts with a laundry list of details i soon forget
- drink water before caffeine [ your kidneys will thank you ]
- or at least the doctor says so [ i 've never heard a kidney ]
- you should eat if you don't, you might fall over [ a mutiny of the body i hate eating ]
- also work on that, because you need to fuel your body [hate gets us nowhere ]
- vitamins are vital [ i'm an iron insufficient vampire ]
- you should go out in the sun today [ never ]
- do you have work to do? [ eternally and it will all be late, and i will fail ]
- you're doing good, you've caught up [ stop ruminating, stop spiraling ]
- do one thing you enjoy [ doomscroll until you fall asleep and feel unsatisfied]
- make sure whatever you do is creative [ something material fufilling ]
- talk with Loki, light an incense [doubt everything that makes you human, everything is a construct, reality is a prism of suffering, locked away in a god's forgotten closet to rot!]
- let your spiritualism bring you peace as little else does [ you are protected, you are chosen, the evil does not reach us here ]
- one day i wont need a phone to fall asleep [ but i'll always need medication ]
- as long as you rest it doesn't matter [ close your eyes and reset, don't let the darkness linger, this is your domain ]
This is a beautiful piece. I love the way you wrote it to be like a list, but still very lyrical and poetic. The message that it gives me is that there is more to basic life and habits than meets the eye, which is a really cool idea. I particularly like how it seems to be a conversation with oneself, and there are conflicting emotions present. I don't have much to give advice on since I honestly love the poem! Thank you for sharing this and keep writing!
Hi figg! I'm going to be a t t e m p i n g to review this but honestly I'm low on steam ToT But let's just jump right in~~~
okay, first, I really like the title! it just really reflects on the poem overall and honestly this is the perfect title for the poem <3
I really like how you keep switching perspectives on things! going from harsh to gentle. it really shows how hard people can be on themselves and constantly catastrophizing every little thing. I also love how nice the second point of view is, it's like it's reassuring the other POV that it's okay <333
I love the:
I found that funny by taking it literally because it also just shows how many things can genuinely be literal. esp for neurodivergent people like MANY of us (including me)! it felt lighthearted there but at the same time showing real misunderstanding??? i'm trying to describe this but apparently failing >.>
ahh okay i don't have any more energy but i will come back and edit this to finish it sob
love you stay safe <333
Love,
Hop
This is a fairly interesting and unique work. I see it talks about the complexities of even a mundane life. I like the sentences in the parenthesis and how they are an inner monologue on itself of the mind and it's thoughts, it's very...relatable. It looks like a humourous argument with ourselves and I like the way you sarcastically frame each sentence like a conversation in amd of itself.
Beautiful and very interesting I have to admit!!