A wolf was walking through the forest one day. It’s fur was a brilliant white as pure as the freshly fallen snow. The wolf was loved by many creatures. It was very kind and helped everyone who needed it.
While walking through the forest the wolf came across another wolf. This wolf was a demon-like red and black, darker than the night sky. This wolf was loved by few but hated by most. It was always doing bad things to other creatures.
The white wolf approached the dark wolf and greeted it kindly. The dark wolf didn’t like this. It hated kindness and that was exactly what it was getting from this other wolf. The dark wolf stood tall and poised to show alpha rank to the white wolf. The white wolf noticed this but would not show subordinance to the black wolf. So the white wolf did the same as the black and posed to show alpha rank.
The dark wolf was shocked to see the other wolf was trying to show that it was stronger. The two wolves began to argue over who was stronger and more powerful. Both wolves refused to give in to the other, and they soon began to fight. The two wolves began tearing at eachother’s pelt, ripping eachother's skin, creating wounds.
As the wolves continued to fight, it seemed to them like time had stopped around them. What they didn’t know was that time was moving faster and years were going by without them. Soon, what they though was the world they knew, was divided in half. The half that the white wolf had originally came from became a wonderful, bright place that was perfect in every single way. The other half, the part that the dark wolf came from, turned into part that the dark wolf came from, turned into a dark, firey place that was very dreadful.
Time continued on and the two wolves lived for all eternity, locked in an endless battle. From time to time a creature would appear on either side of this battlefield and would join in on the endless battle. Only to become locked in the battle themselves.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Hmm this seems really simple and like just a regular old fairy tale when you just skim the surface of it but deep in there I sense some crazier themes that you are trying to portray with how one wolf is clearly representing light and "the good side" while the other one appears to be on the opposing side and then how these two are locked in a battle for eternity. It definitely is a very interesting concept.
Anyway let's get right to it,
That's sounds like the start to a nice little fairy tale right there. Its not exactly the craziest most attention grabby piece but its still a wonderful little way to start and for one it sure did manage to grab my attention.
Definitely a traditional fairy tale style character introduction and you've done a pretty good job here. You can definitely picture this other wolf very well after reading that.
Oooh I love how simple this is but you still manage to actually convey some proper character traits and really give us a pretty good feel for what these characters are like and the personalities that they have.
I believe each other's should be written as two words and whoa this thing escalated into a full on fight really quick. For a second it seemed like maybe this would be one of those things with a peaceful conclusion and then this happens completely out of nowhere.
Well that is definitely a very long time to fight for. I feel like maybe its trying to tell us something deeper than what's just visible on the surface as two wolves fighting.
That's a pretty ominous ending that you've got there. After this I definitely get the feeling that this very simplified idea is some sort of analogy for something else like perhaps maybe the endless battle that is fought between good and evil with none of them ever finding peace? I'm not sure but that is what I felt from reading this.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this was a really well executed little short. There was barely anything that seemed off in the writing and I can't help but think that this is representing so much than the visuals we are being given. Good Job!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry